Day Ten: Oh..... to be Smitten

Things are always best in the beginning; Kids look forward to the first day of school and making new friends, teenagers excited to get their driver’s license to be more independent and help out the family, new job opportunities after college graduation, the build-up and excitement of first dates, the New Year’s Resolution to eat healthier and get fit, and even Adam and Eve had the best adventure in Paradise….in the beginning.

But then, the world sinks in. After about a week in school the kids are complaining they have to get up early, have too much homework, and nothing to wear; despite spending hundreds of dollars on school clothes. The teenager that was excited to get their license so they could run errands and help with carpool, is annoyed that mom runs out of milk so quickly and her sister always wants to pick the radio station on the way to school. The college graduate soon realizes that no amount of education could have prepared them for cranky and demanding bosses; long hours and the amount of their paycheck after taxes. First dates sometimes turn into seconds and thirds; even getting to marriage. At which point they discover they don’t have as much in common as they thought and soon find themselves watching different TV shows in separate rooms. The New Year’s Resolution goes strong for a few weeks; one trip to the organic grocery store and maybe five or six jaunts to the gym….sweating wasn’t what it was cracked up to be and they decided a size 14 was as good a size as any. Then there was Adam and Eve and we all know how that turned out

When Lysa mentioned being smitten in her devotion today, I knew that had to be a topic of discussion for me. She says: “Before I met my exercise-loving husband, I believed the only reason a person should sweat was if he or she was lying by the pool. But when I encountered Art, I temporarily changed my attitude. I was smitten. Oh, how I was motivated when I discovered that running was a fantastic way to spend more time with this man. However, on the first day of our honeymoon, when he woke up cheerfully and initiated an early-morning run, I thought, “Gracious, why would I want to do that? We’re married now.” And I didn’t run again for many years.”

I love the word “smitten.” I used it a lot when my husband and I were dating; and even a little while after we were married; admittedly….probably not as long as I should have. Even though I was, and still am, quite smitten with him; I just didn’t tell him like I used to and I stopped asking him if he was just as smitten with me. The definition of the word according to Dictionary.com is:

smit-ten: 

–adjective

1.    struck, as with a hard blow.

2.    grievously or disastrously stricken or afflicted.

3.    very much in love.

We are all smitten with things “in the beginning;” even our individual relationships with Jesus can be described that way. I received the very best of compliments this week at one of my bible studies. I was telling the story of David and Jonathan to another woman in our class as we were talking about friendships as described in Proverbs. Those that know me, know that when it comes to sharing stories of the bible or friendship, I tend to get very excited….add those two together and there is no stopping me. I was happy to tell the story of one of the greatest friendships given to us in the bible as if I was there to experience it firsthand. I said “I may be a Christian of just 16 months but I love it when we get to see these examples to live by and just can’t help myself when asked how I feel about this friendship.” Another woman asked me “How long did you say you were saved?” And I repeated … “16 Months.” (This is where the compliment comes in) She said: “Wow, that’s great…you still have your glow.”

That was probably the one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me and she probably had no idea just how much it meant to me, although looking back, I soooo should have told her.

I am “very much in love” with Jesus. The hope and promises that He gives to us. The ability to hit the reset button and know that failure is not final. “The steps of the godly are directed by the Lord. He delights in every detail of their lives. Though they stumble they will not fall, for the Lord holds them by the hand.” Psalm 37:23 …If my excitement and “smitten-ness” can be seen from the outside as a “glow” I am happy to continue glowing for him and not to have “Lost that Loving Feeling” (The Righteous Brothers circa 1964 never playing in the background.)

In the beginning, when we tend to be most smitten with someone we give gifts for no reason at all; hubby bringing home fresh flowers on the way home from work, a greeting card to a friend, or a trinket to let mom know you were thinking of her. Just as I continue to be smitten by Jesus, I am vowing to make this weight loss journey a gift to him…. while benefitting from it, myself. This is the first time that I have started a real life lifestyle change. This is not a resolution to “try and get through” or a diet that will allow me to lose the weight but not maintain it. This is a choice. This is an opportunity. This is my promise to Him just as he has given us so many promises and examples to learn from.

"Dear Jesus…. I promise to crave you more. Not just more than food, but more than money, more than stuff, and more than anyone else. I know that you paid a price for me and that this body is yours. I promise you that it will be taken care of like it has not been in the past and that my outside will match my inside, becoming the sanctuary you deserve."  Amen

“Do you not know that your body is a sanctuary of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Day Nine: Step Away.....from the Peanut Butter

Many people lose weight to transform their lives. I shudder to think of all the “Before” and “After” pictures out there; the “After’s” inevitably being blonder and more tan. Because we live in a word that leads us to believe that if we are thinner we will be happier, get better jobs, always find the closest parking spot at the mall, and never have to worry about our bank accounts. Just like blondes can tell blonde jokes without offending each other (common knowledge for those of us that were born blonde); I can speak of the thinner must be better because I used to have the same mentality.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m tired of being the chunky girl for many reasons but I no longer think that losing weight is going to make me a better person and wash away my worries. The transformation for me began two years ago…from the inside and is working its way to the outside now. I have a history of doing everything to excess; multiple college degrees, over indulgent lifestyles, parties four nights a week, and having just one goal… to be the center of attention no matter where I was; even at my biggest weight of 265. Self-control was never something I was accused of having but I thought I was living a good life and wasn’t looking for any control of any kind from anyone.

Lysa talked about self-control in her devotion today and it had to passed along. “Self- control is hard. We don’t like to deny ourselves. We don’t think it’s necessary. We make excuses and declare, “That’s nice for someone else, but I could never give up _________________!” (fill in the blank, soda, sugar, cupcakes, smoking….)”

The first time I really surrendered to Him was my unwillingness to admit I had a problem with alcohol. The writing was on the wall several times in the last few years before crying “Uncle.” But when the choice was mine to give it up… I didn’t. Sure, I could take a few weeks off here and there but when I went back to my over indulgent ways, it was worse than the time before. It is no secret to my friends that it took a DUI in November of 2008 to turn my life around; the fact that it was just days before Thanksgiving was all the more ironic since I have done nothing but give thanks ever since. I even spoke the words she mentioned at an A.A. meeting, telling a room full of strangers “This is nice for you guys but not something I need. I am glad that “you people” have somewhere to go.”  Not one of my best moments. Needless to say surrendering was the furthest from my mind at that point.

We don’t give things up when they are ours to give, however….when they are taken from us in whatever circumstance, we learn to live without them and begin to see what is truly important. Getting that DUI humbled me beyond anything I had ever experienced but a year later I finally accepted a relationship with Jesus. (Who am I kidding… when I finally got the nerve to humble myself, I practically begged Him to come into my heart and give me a new start).

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.” Romans 12:2

…..Changing the way you think.

Transformation isn’t about how much we weigh or what we will wear in our “Before” and “After” pictures but letting God transform us into a new person. However, He created us in his image and I am certain that he wouldn’t be happy about being out of breath as often I am, living in a three story condo.

Last week I counted gummy bears and snuck more than a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter; not at one time of course, but passing the pantry at least a tablespoon worth a day ….and still managed to lose 3.6 pounds at my weigh in yesterday; just another gift from Him, but...hey, I did do some of the footwork by hitting the gym.....just sayin'.

This week I am going to give my cravings to Him instead of giving in to them. This isn’t about the “Before” and “After” picture but remembering the before and wanting to give Him my Happily Ever After.

Day Eight: What a Difference a Decimal Point Makes

Today was my first weigh in; Day 7 of the Made to Crave 21 Day Challenge. I walked into Curves, sneakers in hand, and made a bee-line for the back of the gym where the digital scale awaited. I tried to be nonchalant as I approached; unsure of which way the numbers would go…remembering the gummy bears and occasional spoonful of peanut butter.  I stepped on the scale and thankfully it wasn’t like the crazy, jumping numbers on the Biggest Loser, but got straight to the point…..Drum roll please….. the digital numbers locked in at 220.2. After doing the math (223 – 220 = 3) I was good with the three pound weight loss. Not as much as I hoped for but, let’s face it… I wasn’t giving as much as I knew I could; not the case anymore with twice a day workouts.

I texted Lynnette before even beginning my workout to let her know the news. I promised her that she would be the first to know, except for Cardboard Jesus looking over my shoulder, of course. And, as a best friend does, she replied with the perfect response: “Good job! Muscle weighs more than fat… You are building muscle. : )” THAT is why I love her. Next text went to hubby in Oklahoma: “Congratulations. Great start. Keep up the good work. Love you.” And ya know what? If I had gained 3 pounds they would have been just as positive and proud of me for making the effort and giving my body as a living sacrifice, regardless of the numbers on the scale.

Because of the time difference between Michigan and California, and only that reason, mom was the last to know the news but I was elated to phone her and get the skinny on how Weight Watchers and weigh-ins work. She was proud of me but told me to be sure to use the point. Huh? She said that even a 0.2 weight loss was better than any weight gain. “But I just rounded the numbers to get my weight loss.” Apparently Weight Watchers uses the decimal point and guess what, so does Curves; so…. when I added the little dot, my weight loss skyrocketed. Okay, perhaps that is a bit lofty but I did go from 3 pounds lost to 3.6, and that means almost 4 in my mind.   =)

I am a Christian. I have an amazing relationship with Jesus and name drop him whenever I get the opportunity; sometimes even making them. But that doesn’t mean that a bit of friendly competition is out of the question, right? I love challenges that keep your momentum up and love getting goals given to me that I need to “step up” to make happen. When Lysa started a sentence of her devotion today with “I challenge you….” I literally perked up at my laptop.

“Today I challenge you to start a new cycle of making God your focus rather than food. Each time you crave something you know isn’t part of your plan, use that craving as a prompting to pray. I crave a lot. So I’ve found myself praying a lot.”

I am trying to follow Lysa’s example by being transparent, being bold, and stepping up to the challenge of making God my focus rather than food. The gummy bears are now part of the witness protection program and the peanut butter has left the building.

Don’t get me wrong; I am not craving carrot sticks and I have to trick myself into eating vanilla yogurt by adding Grape Nuts but there is a prize at the end of this journey and quitting is not an option. “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12

When I work out I think about the prize, giving 110% every time, even though today was a bit tougher and I walk a little slower up the stairs to the shower. I do my best to work out as if my Cardboard Jesus really was looking over my shoulder or standing in front of me with the stopwatch.

“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the fruit of peace and righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:11

Guess what? On the Weight Watchers program that I am on… I can have ALL the fruit I want!

Bring it on!

Day Seven: Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder

(God's eye in the sky)

Growing up, I wasn’t really fixated on looks or what brand I wore but all that changed as an adult; kicking into overdrive after college and joining the Army. As a young single woman in the military; attention was not spared and I thrived on it….finding my first husband soon after. He was into the “looks” thing and I knew that but he was looking at me so it worked out; as long as I looked the way he wanted….hair color, clothing, or weight. It was then I realized that my value was not on the inside but in the packaging on the outside; it would be a very long time before I started to see my worth as something other than what my appearance portrayed.

Those were the days that I thought wearing a size in the double digits was the worst thing that could happen to me. I made sure I always wore makeup, even around the house. My hair was blonde and always done…just in case someone stopped by, which rarely happened but my husband liked me being cleaned up when he got home from work each night. But then he started coming home later and later and leaving for work earlier and earlier. It didn’t matter what I looked like, the color of my hair, or what I wore, his attention was elsewhere and I found myself home alone with three girls.

Fast forward a few years, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and as I sat alone in the hospital for chemo; my hair slowly thinning and falling out, my face emaciated, and my smile long gone I felt anything but beautiful. My mind flashed to the Mrs. Wisconsin trophy that sat dusty on a shelf in my room; now just a metal and marble reminder of what I no longer had. I didn’t have God in that moment and I wouldn’t have him for at least a decade. I use to wonder how I ever made it through so many things without him but then learned Jesus was with me all along just waiting for me to turn around and ask him for the forgiveness He so freely would have given at ANY moment.

After surviving that time of my life, I learned absolutely nothing and ran even further away from God….if that was possible; going from the proverbial frying pan to the fire. Beauty was still in the packaging and “stuff” I owned to accessorize was all that mattered. I didn’t feel beautiful but my pocketbook won friends, not real ones but the “yes” friends you think are fabulous until life takes a left turn. The party lifestyle, the worldly pursuits, and accelerated degeneration in relationships with my daughters were worse than any cancer ever experienced. It took a lot of ugliness to begin seeing the beauty that was possible. The drinking, snacking, and eating anything and everything had gotten the best of me; my weight skyrocketed to a crazy 265 pounds. I was now the super chunky girl that people would talk about: “She sure would be pretty if she would lose about 100 pounds. But she does have a …. (wait for it)…. great personality.” Who says words don’t hurt?

Lysa had great insight on “Finding Her Beautiful” in her devotion for today. (Which, by the way, ANYONE can sign up to receive. It is a 21Day Challenge that is completely separate of her book and participant guide…..which I highly recommend. But, as a starting point, please visit www.lysaterkeurst.com and click on the 21Day Challenge tab at the top. They’re great.)

Lysa says: “I don’t know a woman alive who is completely happy with her body. No woman I’ve met has ever said, “I eat healthy, I exercise, and I love the way I look 100 percent.” Not me, and I doubt you do either.”

“We tend to focus on what we see wrong with our bodies, including negative impressions and comments that stick with us from childhood. I’ve learned through God’s word that the body He gave me is good. It’s not perfect, nor will it ever be on this side of eternity. But my body is a gift, a good gift for which I can be thankful. Being faithful is taking care of this gift and walking according to God’s plan gives me renewed strength to keep a healthy view of my body.”

Who on earth would not take care of a gift given from God? I know, in the past, I was given many gifts from Him but never realized that is what they were. I just patted myself on the back for getting out of this situation or that; never once being thankful for the true giver. I now know from where my gifts come, even when wrapped up as a challenge or trial that needs to be overcome…including my weight. I know that I need to be faithful; taking care of this gift and doing what I can to get it back into shape…just has He has not given up in shaping me in His image.

Beauty is all around us. God created beauty everywhere we look. What does beauty in a person look like? God describes how man looks at beauty from an outward perspective but God views beauty inwardly. If we are in His image….shouldn’t we? Losing weight and getting more physically fit isn’t about fitting into a smaller size, although that will be a great perk. Getting my outside to match my inside is to show Him how much I appreciate the renewed strength he has given me and to get back that healthy view of my body. God made me a beautiful creation and the true beauty he sees in my heart. The heart of a person is expressed through how they act towards others and Him.

Now the whispers I imagine aren’t people talking behind their hands about how pretty I would be if I lost weight but Jesus saying: “You are altogether beautiful, my darling. And there is no blemish in you.” Song of Songs 4:7

Finding this study and making the decision to change my lifestyle, taking better care of the gift of my body that he has given me, is just a beginning to how I plan to continue giving back to Him.

“Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder” has taken on a new meaning for me these days. It is no longer a flippant saying meaning that different people will find different things beautiful. I know that God is the “Beholder” and He sees beauty in ALL his creations… even me; especially me.

“And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good.” Genesis 1:31

Day Six: I Get By With a Little Help from My Friends

This title is more than a Beatles song; but a fact I am grateful for. Last year about this time, I participated in a bible study by Margaret Feinberg called “The Sacred Echo: Hearing God’s Voice in Every Area of Your Life.” Aside from this being a study where I met most of the Lylas it was a great study in realizing that He can speak to us in more than the obvious way; through scripture. Today the “echoes” were endless and all were reminders that no matter how independent I think I am, or the confidence I feel in choices I make…. things are always made better with friendships.

I worked out twice today. God said he made me for more so I decided to start giving more. I ‘earned’ my Curves Smart Card today; a key fob that slips into each strength machine and acts as your own personal trainer. It gets you to push harder and reach personalized goals that the Curves trainers test your abilities on. I wanted the lights to turn green and blink to show me I was doing the right thing but with each pump of my arms or push of my legs I dug as deep as I could for my best friend… Jesus. I was made for more… I’m giving him more.

Lysa’s devotion today said that “Friends don’t let friends eat before thinking….. we need measures of accountability. While I cannot expect anyone else to make decisions for me, it was motivating to know that someone else cared about my struggles. We encouraged each other with this motto, “If it’s not part of our plan, we don’t put in our mouths.” Since I have become a Christian, Jesus has made me realize that I need accountability in my life. My life “Pre-Jesus” (the P-J Era) had zero accountability and we know where that got me, so this one is huge. The best part of my accountability partner is that she is the newest Lyla and a pleasant surprise that Jesus has dropped into our small group. Kathy wanted to do this study with me and as much as I wanted to ask her to participate, it was not something I thought she would be open to. “Um…. Excuse me, I know I have only known you two weeks and I don’t want you to think I feel that you need to do this with me; just having met you….but do you want to do a bible study about craving God and not food, with me?” Uh, yeah. Me being excited about it and sharing was enough that she took that leap all on her own and I am ever so grateful. So now I have a real life person to be accountable to in the newest Lyla, a friendly competition (even if we don’t call it that) with my mom and sisters 2500 miles away, and me being accountable in this blog to the 1 or 500 that may find it on the web…  taking what they need and leaving the rest. (Jesus loves the leftovers)

The most literal of echoes today was dinner with “Echo.” No… her name is not “Echo”, it is Michelle, but I met her in the Sacred Echo study and there were two Michelle’s. I referred to her as Echo a few times and it stuck. I haven’t seen her since she hosted a Lylas Soup Swap at her house in January, which was amazing but entirely too long ago. We talked about everything and nothing at all; conversation ranging from husbands and jobs, what I’ve been up to and her love for cooking. When it circled to smoothie talk I am embarrassed to admit that my notebook came out and I picked her brain for an hour on combinations, secrets, ingredients, storage options, and milk vs. vanilla yogurt, or juice. It was like we saw each other yesterday and something we both needed.

I love that I can pick up the phone and get the encouragement I need from Lynnette no matter what the topic. Mom always knows just what to say, regardless of the scenario. The best part of our relationship being that we have one at all, since I drifted away for about twelve years. I am excited to make friends at my gym and now going twice a day, getting more opportunities to put myself out there and name drop “Pssst….. I know Jesus and if you wanna meet him you can visit anytime.” (Okay… maybe that isn’t our first conversation; gotta ease them into it). I am excited that this part of my journey allows me to have something in common with my mother in law – Weight Watchers AND Curves and can’t wait to see results and compare notes with her the next time we get together. Lylas is about strengthening our relationship with him while creating better friendships with each other. How awesome that the common denominator for everything in my life is Jesus?

I guess I get by with more than a little help from my friends. Without them I can’t imagine where I would be but thankfully, with Jesus in the picture…. I will never have to figure that out.

Day Five: Subject to Change

Today was such a full day and not how one would expect. There were no errands to run, the gym is closed on Sundays, so no workout, and even though I had intentions on sewing, I never made it to my library to do that. Yet, my day was full; FULL-filling.

We had a guest pastor (Tim Elmore) today in church and the topic of his talk was: The Bucket List. The premise of a “bucket list” is to make a list of all that you want to accomplish before you ‘kick the bucket.’ Despite the service beginning with a clip from a movie of the same title starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, the service wasn’t about making a list of things to do before you die, taking action and doing things while you can with no regrets at the end of your life. The service was literally about buckets and how we need to fill them.

As he walked to the table at the center of the stage, we noticed three large buckets staggered nearby; each with a different label. Tim told us that these represented the three buckets in our life: “In Your Control” “Out of Your Control” and “Within Your Influence”. Even though there weren’t a lot of blanks on the sheet inside of our program, my pen moved feverishly as he spoke, completely feeling and understanding what he was saying. It seems simple enough but as I mentioned yesterday; it is one thing to know the right thing to do and quite another to do it. Tim defined the types of things that could be found in each bucket and then proceeded to share the cards found in each one. In Your Control: Emotions, Time with Friends, Attitudes, Diet, Exercise (REALLY… I did not add the last two myself). Out of Your Control: Car accidents, Cancer, Job Layoff, Ballgames, Gossip. Within Your Influence: Reputation, Children, What People Think of You.

Let’s face it, sometimes Jesus goes old school and speaks fluent symbolism like Revelation but then there are other times where He just puts it out there; literally… in black and white. Sitting in row 5, nodding in agreement as he spoke, and writing as fast as my pen would allow… a smile escaped my lips as I said to myself “I am soooo getting this Jesus. Thank you for your affirmations and reminders through him.” God gave us the gift of freewill. Freewill = choices. Lysa’s devotion today said that the “way out” that God provides is the ability to decide in advance….” Not only do we have a choice but we must make a choice; which bucket do we put things into? There are many things that are in our control and it is up to us to use discernment in corralling those decisions; not giving up too quickly (because it is easier) to say it is out of our control, walking away from it. (Ahem…. Diet and exercise). I went through the “God loves me just the way I am phase and who has time to exercise….blah blah blah. I can’t blame family genes because I am the chunkiest of our tribe and deep down I knew that I could control my eating and exercise habits because I have seen results before; even not too long ago when training for the 3Day 60Mile walk. I even thought of blaming my husband because I was twenty pounds lighter when we met and if he didn’t make me so happy and tell me that he loves the way I look all the time, maybe I would have made changes sooner. (Poor Robbe….that is a lose:lose situation since him telling me I needed to lose a couple pounds wouldn’t have been in his best interest either).

I have had a few things in the “Out of Your Control” bucket of my life; breast cancer being at the top of that list. But Tim reminded us that things inevitably will happen that are out of our control, it is how we handle those situations that make us who we are and show others what is possible with a relationship with Christ; I couldn’t help secretly patting myself on the back for envisioning my vase by the front door, full of notes of things we were giving to him because they were truly out of our control. (Besides, the clear vase is so much prettier than a white 5-gallon bucket.)

There are many opportunities given to us where we are able to influence others, for the good and the bad. I am not proud of where I was but my influence used to be for my own personal gain and usually the demise of others; sometimes even my own children. In my relationship with Jesus, I am thrilled to report that the influence I now have is nothing to be ashamed of and I never have to say a thing because actions speak louder than words. I no longer worry about gossip or who has what to say about me. Like everyone else I have bad days but they are fewer and far between and never last long. I make it my priority to live by example and hope that others see Jesus in me without me having to wear the “I am a Christian” t-shirt or name drop my church in every other conversation. Wanting to exude HIM fully in my outer appearance as well as my heart is the reason I have taken this journey of changing my life on the outside the way he has done on the inside. How can I not be successful when he has already proven what is possible even with the most sketchy of candidates in me?

I never would have guessed I would be here… THIS point in my life, just two years ago. I can’t think of one thing that I have or do now that I had or did two years ago; the people I hung out with, the life I led, the job I did, the man I was married to, the lack of communication with my family and children, and the missing relationship with Him altogether. No matter how much we plan or think we have things figured out, each incidence comes with its own label “Subject to Change.” Where this may have been a scary revelation two years ago, I find myself grateful for it now. If things weren’t subjected to change, I wouldn’t have the life I have or the opportunities to make it even better. I told the woman at Curves when I signed up “This is not just about weight loss for me but a reason to get out of the house every day and a way to show others what Jesus is capable of – on the outside, as well as the inside.” The best part was that she didn’t even blink but seemed happy for me to make the realization and happier to take the next step. I wouldn’t have said that the life He has given to me was stagnant but it had gotten comfortable….predictable; volunteering at church, bible studies, small groups, sewing to get ready for some awesome Lylas adventure but… it was time for more, showing me that being a Christian doesn’t remove the label “Subject to Change.” “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9

I am grateful for the three buckets in my life and the freewill that God has given me to make the right choices about what goes where; diet and exercise moving to the top of my “In Your Control” bucket. And….if things weren’t subject to change, I can’t even imagine where I would be today but know that I would be giving myself the credit for all of the good things and blaming those around me for everything negative. Now I know that good or bad, it all comes from him and he will never give me more than I can handle. “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13

Day Four: A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words

Soooo proud of myself today….and I think I even saw Cardboard Jesus wink at me as I headed out the door to the gym; my fourth day in a row. Woohoo. I am happy to be getting the activity part of this new lifestyle down but still find the food part a bit challenging. I can’t say that I never “craved” snacks before but I don’t remember sitting around the house wondering what time it was, how many points I had already eaten that day, and just what I could eat with the remaining points? It seems that when I was allowed to eat whatever I wanted… I didn’t. But now that I am watching what I eat and told that some things (or as many things as I wanted before) are off limits; I NEED it more and more and I can’t.

Activity….Check. Food cravings….Working on it. More time with Jesus….Soooo there and loving it. Of course I was super excited to find more gold from Paul when spending time in the Word today too. There are NO accidents. He says: “Therefore, I urge you, brothers (ahem….Gidget), in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God – this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing and perfect will.”  Romans 12:1-2

Paul urged me to offer my body as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God because it is my spiritual act of worship. THIS is just what I needed to hear. (Thanks Paul). When I am in church I can never sing during the beginning of the service when we worship him before our pastor speaks. I cry. I can’t even “Milli Vanilli” it without tearing up. (Note: Milli Vanilli was a musical duo from the 90s that lip synced everything and won a Grammy before anyone realized it; later stripping them of the award). But… I digress. I have recently realized that just looking at the projected words on the screen and knowing how they speak to me…gets me choked up. But Jesus knows that my heart sings above the congregation in perfect tune and doesn’t judge me for not moving my lips. That being said and reading Paul’s words, I was reminded that there are many ways to worship him and I have the opportunity to forget what the world is about and give him what He is waiting for; renewing my mind for what is possible.

I know what I need to do and am so grateful to have so many illustrations and examples of just “how to” do it. But it is one thing to know the right thing to do and another to live it. James was the epitome of this realization and put it best: “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it – he will be blessed in what he does.” James 1:22-26. I just need to remember that I can’t be too hard on myself but continue to move forward regardless of what the scale says, what others tell me, and what happens around me. I just need to do what I say I am going to do and not blame others for the challenge I feel when it comes to the cravings. Admittedly blaming Eve of all people (yes….Eve of Adam and Eve) for the downfall of ALL women. I thought it completely appropriate when I read Lysa’s devotion for today when she mentions Eve by name too. I literally giggled and was in awe as I opened the “Day Four” Email…. “Are Cravings Chasing You?”

I share with you: “Eve’s temptation in the Garden of Eden. While the object that enticed her might have been an apple, the core of her struggle was that she wanted to be like God, knowing good and evil. The very downfall of humanity was caused when the first woman surrendered to a craving to eat something she wasn’t supposed to eat, and to pursue a power that she was never intended to wield.”  Whew…. At the risk of sounding like we are ganging up on Eve, I am soooo glad I’m not the only one that “went there” to notice that Eve started it all. Darn her. 

But today was a productive day and a fun day, crossing a few things off my To Do list; the most alarming of those things being a “Before” picture. What the heck? There is no “Before” picture without an “After” picture. Taking a picture now is truly just a chunky girl on the receiving end of a camera. Um…. Okay. But, after just five minutes I figured out how to use the time delay feature on my camera and began clicking away. Still working on the lighting and placement since it was just placed on my ironing board with a ten second “Ready, Set, Go.” In looking at them now (and hiding in a random folder on my laptop) I am holding my breath that there will be a couple “After” pictures to redeem myself.

I dress in layers and love mixing colors and patterns so that is handy, but… I would like the option of NOT having to wear so many tops or jackets to hide the “muffin top”…. proof that jeans are entirely too tight in some spots and saggy in others. So, truth be told, there is a “Current” picture that will hopefully be called a “Before” picture when the faith and footwork has been put to the test and an “After” picture will be, not only necessary, but appreciated and posted.