Day Eight: Seen at the Crime

Before You Begin:  Read Acts 7:54 – 8:1

The Stoning of Stephen

When the members of the Sanhedrin heard this, they were furious and gnashed their teeth at him. But Stephen, full of the Holy Spirit, looked up to heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. “Look,” he said, “I see heaven open and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.”

At this they covered their ears and, yelling at the top of their voices, they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.

While they were stoning him, Stephen prayed, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” Then he fell on his knees and cried out, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” When he had said this, he fell asleep.

Acts 8

And Saul approved of their killing him.

The Church Persecuted and Scattered

On that day a great persecution broke out against the church in Jerusalem, and all except the apostles were scattered throughout Judea and Samaria.

Stop and Consider: “….they all rushed at him, dragged him out of the city and began to stone him. Meanwhile, the witnesses laid their coats at the feet of a young man named Saul.”

Questions Asked of Me: Are there some issues in our families, our churches, and our culture at large that we as Christians often approve of by our silence?

At the risk of sounding too dramatic or political I find my answer being simply: Aren’t any issues we don’t agree with but go along with anyway, approved by our silence? If we don’t stand up for Jesus when someone is saying His name in vane or actively talking in a negative way about Him…aren’t we agreeing, or giving the impression of agreeing with those speaking it?

In the beginning, as a new Christian, I know that was me without question. My mom gave me a cross necklace after I accepted Jesus as my personal savior; accepting him at her church…her there beside me. When I returned home to Michigan I wondered: “Will anyone know? Will they see a difference in me? Will I wear this cross necklace everywhere at the risk of others knowing I have accepted Him and my life has changed forever?”

It didn’t take a cross necklace for people to see the changes; my actions doing the job to make it obvious. I guess it was a while in coming and this was just the final step in finally admitting that I needed His forgiveness and wanted the salvation promised me by doing so. Before too long, I wanted everyone to know and that is where Jesus showed me the cheerleader I was created to be.

Not that Saul was uncomfortable being counted as one of this mob, but in what ways do you find yourself influenced by group dynamics and peer pressure, even as a grown-up?

I was influenced in a negative way for a long time; a need to belong and be one of the “in” people. It wasn’t long, leading the life I was living, before I was the one doing the influencing and NOT in a good way. If someone said they weren’t drinking for the night, I would deliver two shots of anything…. getting them to do what I wanted them to. I judged others by the way they dressed, making them feel like they had to spend money they didn’t have on clothing or shoes or handbags, just to be a part of what I THOUGHT was the way we all should live.

Now I think my influencing is from Jesus directly and I don’t try to persuade others to my way of thinking, I just let Jesus do the talking through me; by actions, my blog, my questions asked in a bible study, or my participation in small group. No one….especially me, saw that coming. I wonder if Paul felt the same way.

I just wanted to belong and was willing to follow anyone’s lead to be a part of something greater than myself. Little did I know it wasn’t greater than myself in most cases, but just another turn spiraling downward, pulling me further in the wrong direction.

I can’t say enough how grateful I am for Jesus making me feel like I can’t be too bad, too late, or too old to be forgiven for my past. My God is a God of second (and third, and fourth, and fifth…..) chances.

Detour: In answering the second question today I feel I am making a new connection with Paul. I developed my crush on him because of all that he went through before Jesus and how Jesus used him for His glory despite that past.

I know how most perceived me after accepting Jesus. They thought it was a phase or something I was doing to get out of something else; just another ploy in my long list of them to make myself look better, even for just the time being.

But this was different. This was genuine. This was life changing. I had to change my playground after making this realization because those I was associating with did not approve of the life changes I was making and did what they could to bring me down. I did not trust myself to be strong enough to combat those people then but have since realized that some have slowly come to my way of thinking because of the Jesus they see in me; not anything I have said to them directly but by the continued actions and the length of time (nearly two years). They think if it was something to “stick” this long, there must be something to it. 

But the connection I now wonder about Paul is: “What was it like for him after returning to Tarsus after the Road to Damascus?” (I’m aware that this will probably come up later in the bible study but needed to ask this of myself now). He left Tarsus to kill Christians and came home one of them. Did he have the strength straight away to combat their words instead of leaving? Did he stick it out and prove his convictions real and MAKE them see his way of thinking instead of running as I did?

I know that he had to have had the same feelings that I did, wondering how anyone was going to think I had really changed and that Jesus could really forgive me….in spite of my past actions. Little did I realize then that he didn’t forgive me in spite of my past but because of it. He knew that everything he allowed me to go through would be used for His glory one day but there was no way I saw that coming so it was impossible to justify that to others I hoped would one day find what I had just found.

I still pray for the ones that “didn’t get it” but wait for me to fail again and prove them right; that THIS wouldn’t last forever and was still merely a phase I was going through.

Praying God’s Word Today: Father, may we not be conformed to this age, but be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so that we may discern Your good, pleasing, and perfect will (Romans 12:2). As You have said in Your Word, “Blessed is the man who does not condemn himself by what he approves.” (Romans 14:22). May my action and attitudes bear witness to the indwelling character of Christ within me.

Dear Jesus:

Please remind me every day how I am deserving of all that you have given me. Remind me to be grateful for all that I have gone through; the good, the bad, and the ugly. You don’t judge me of my past but instead use it to glorify what You are capable of in ANYONE.

Give me the strength to stand up for what I believe in no matter how hard it may be. Give me the courage to defend your name and to not be silenced by the words or actions of others against you. I want my actions to show Your character and not my own. I want to be more like you and let others see not what you have done for me but what you continue to do in me and through me.

Love,

Me

Day Seven: Initial Witness

Before You Begin:  Read Acts 6:8-15

Stephen Seized

Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, performed great wonders and signs among the people. Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called) – Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia – who began to argue with Stephen. But they could not stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke.

Then they secretly persuaded some men to say, “We have heard Stephen speak blasphemous words against Moses and against God.”

So they stirred up the people and the elders and the teachers of the law. They seized Stephen and brought him before the Sanhedrin. They produced false witness, who testified, “This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law. For we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and change the customs Moses handed down to us.”

All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intently at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

Stop and Consider: “Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia – who began to argue with Stephen. But they could not stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke.”

Questions Asked of Me: What was it about Stephen, do you think, that so infuriated the religious leadership of Jerusalem and the surrounding region?

His words were not his own; perhaps they knew that. Maybe they knew that these words were merely spoken through him but they didn’t want to believe it. They were in a position of either accepting what he said as true or trying to contradict anything he said; they didn’t want, or couldn't do, either. Accepting what he said as true would mean that everything they had believed to that point was not. Contradicting anything that he said meant that they would have to have knowledge that they did not have. Because of their beliefs and insecurities; it was easier for them to put him to death and eliminate him from the equation altogether.

Saul was a Pharisee that was following the events in Jerusalem very closely; messengers running to Tarsus with word of Jesus and now of Stephen. He had learned that Stephen was winning every words war with the Pharisees and thought he had what it took to contradict him and put him in his place before his death.

The speech given by Stephen would change his life forever. (Acts 7:1-53)

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts%207:1-53&version=NIV

We enjoy being linked by as many friends as possible. But what does it perhaps say about us if we don’t have any enemies at all, no one who is ever at least somewhat offended by us?

The first thought that came to mind when reading this question posed by Beth Moore, was Facebook. How many friends we add, almost seems to be a measuring stick; one of TOO much importance to many. I have 131 “Friends” and at this question, even went into my Friends List to see just how many could have been deleted without notice; there were 27.

But the second part of this question is why I decided my Friends List remains untouched.

I can’t think of enemies that I have. I changed my playground when I recognized my life going out of control. I walked away from those bad influences and literally moved to a new city an hour away; now changed to 19 hours away. All of my new friends had at least one thing in common with me; we were Christians and had a very intimate relationship with Jesus; He comes up in nearly every conversation and is our foundation. But what is that saying “Preaching to the choir?” Are we all just filling and refilling each other; not stepping out of our Christian playground to be witnesses for him?

I am surprised at my list of “Friends” on Facebook; some from high school, others are family, most are people I know from church, and there is even my VERY first friend from Kindergarten in the mix….perhaps one of the most surprising.

I post my blogs to my Facebook wall after each entry and the emails I get from those that are reading them and coming across something they know they were meant to read, is nothing short of amazing. I won’t delete those 27 friends that may or may not notice because perhaps, they too, are reading what Jesus gives to me to spill out and even without mentioning to me (which they soooo don’t need to, of course)….Jesus is working in them.

Remember my friend from Kindergarten? She told me just last week that she sees so many similarities in our lives; experiences, trials, and tribulations that she will be checking in daily; perhaps getting just a reminder from Jesus every day that she is not alone and that despite where you are, you can always get back to where He wants you.

What opportunities have you been given recently to profess the goodness and faithfulness of God? How have you handled these situations? How can you be better prepared next time to declare your witness of Him with more natural assurance?

The most recent of opportunities would have to be the move to Nineveh. My husband has secured his dream job in aerospace and followed Jesus obediently in moving here and doing as he knew he should. I, on the other hand, did not profess goodness OR faithfulness in the months leading up to my move to follow him or the few weeks since arriving here. Without knowing it, I had an opportunity to profess my faithfulness in Him just by my actions. I didn’t have to shout from the rooftop or put signs on my car. I merely had to have faith in Jesus and not just move here but be happy and grateful for the opportunities that He has given to us.

After speaking to my dad last night on the phone, I know that my actions don’t have to be big and grand, they just have to be heartfelt and genuine. I don’t have to read the bible for hours each night, I just have to be in His Word every day; seeking ALL that He has to give to me…never hiding from him or throwing my tantrums.

Thanks daddy.

Detour: When speaking to my daddy last night, I told him not to worry because I had not strayed from Jesus or changed my relationship with him BUT perhaps I haven’t been the cheerleader I once was outside of the comfort of my own home; and I have missed that. Daddy reminded me not to just do this but to do it for His glory and not my own. I don’t think I have….but was I? Is that where my faith wandered a bit? Did I somehow make this move and all that was given to us, about me and NOT Him?

I don’t lie to my daddy and I don’t lie to my Father. Their respect, love, and opinion means everything to me. Maybe that is why I haven’t called home to talk to daddy as much as I didn’t pick up my bible; I didn’t want to hear what either had to say because it wasn’t the answer I wanted. I even jokingly told daddy last night on the phone; he told me very succinctly: “That’s not how it works. You need to pick up your bible every day and I want to hear more from you too. I like knowing what is going on in your life and I need to know how your relationship with Jesus is going.” My quick reply was simply “But, daddy, I call and talk to mom every day.” I could “see” his reaction through the phone with 1,200 miles between us. “I know you talk to mom and she always fills me in, but that isn’t good enough, I want to hear from you too.”

Insert Jesus’ “I told you so moment” here.

I know that Jesus was saying the SAME thing. “It isn’t enough for me to know what you are going through, I want to hear it for myself.”

WOW….

I love how a ten minute conversation with daddy AND my Father, can put everything into perspective so quickly and so easily. There is no gray area or room for negotiation. You know what to do….just do it.

Praying God’s Word Today: Lord, Jesus, You have told us that our trying times of persecution are opportunities for us to bear witness to Your name. Fill us with the faith to know that when these moments arise, You will give us such words and a wisdom that none of our adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. Even when betrayed by parents, brothers, relatives, and friends – hated because of Your name – we know that not a hair of our head will be lost (Luke 21:12-18), not without accomplishing Your will and advancing Your glory.

Signs of the End of the Age

“But before all this, they will seize you and persecute you. They will hand you over to synagogues and put you in prison, and you will be brought before kings and governors, and all account of my name. And so you will bear testimony to me. But make up your mind not to worry beforehand how you will defend yourselves. For I will give you the words and wisdom that none of your adversaries will be able to resist or contradict. You will be betrayed by parents, brothers, and sisters, relatives and friends, and they will put some of you to death. Everyone will hate you because of me. But not a hair of your head will perish.”  Luke 21:12-18

Dear Jesus:

Thank you for the relationship I have with you. Thank you for the relationship I have with my parents and my daughters….without you, I would have neither. I have loved learning your purpose for me and remember practically begging for it in the beginning. I am sorry for the way I have treated these gifts and am definitely excited about being given yet another “do over.”

I have not put myself out there enough for Your glory. I have gotten too comfortable and spoken only of you in circles I know were accepted. Give me the strength and wisdom to get back out there and speak of You always. I am not looking to be hated by parents, brothers, relatives, or friends but I AM looking to put you first and if that happens in the process, so be it.

I know that I cannot fully be a cheerleader of spokesperson for You if I handpick those that I cheer and speak to.

Love,

Me

Day Six: Saul Strangulation

Before You Begin:  Read Philippians 3:2-11

No Confidence in the Flesh

Watch out for those dogs, those evildoers, those mutilators of the flesh. For it is we who are the circumcision, we who serve God by his Spirit, who boast in Christ Jesus, and who put no confidence in the flesh – though I myself have reasons for such confidence.

If someone else thinks they have reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.

But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ – the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. I want to know Christ – yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead.

Stop and Consider: “… a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.”

Questions Asked of Me: If you could summarize your life in a few short lines and thoughts, what are some of the words you would use?

I was ungrateful for the things given and taught to me by my parents. I was sidetracked by pleasing only me and being appeased to by others. I was self-indulgent and felt entitled to all I was given. But then I was humbled by breast cancer and DUIs. I was forgiven by Jesus despite the person I had become. I was made a new creation and I am shown more of my purpose He created me for, each day.

Assuming that some of your answers reveal a few mistakes and regrets, how do you wish your life could be summarized? What is missing that you’d like to see added to the list?

I wish that I could be like others in the bible that got it from the beginning BUT I am grateful for so many others to emulate with that show me He uses ALL people and circumstance for His glory. I wish I knew the ending; skipping ahead a few chapters to see what I am truly capable of for Him. I wish that I was able to say that I was forgiven sooner but I didn’t ask for it; from my parents, my children, or Jesus. I wish that I was able to say I figured it out sooner so that my children could benefit from some of the good examples I set instead of what NOT to do by my bad examples I set.

As we prepare for Paul’s emergence on the biblical stage, take an extended moment to search your heart for any holdouts of man-made-law-abiding. Measure its size and weight, the heavy toll of bondage it hangs over your head each day. Commit with God’s help to throw off its suffocating shackles, choosing instead to both give and receive His grace.

Detour: Summarizing my past is not something I am proud of but I am thankful for the reminders He puts before me. Being ungrateful for what I was given growing up is truly an understatement. My parents gave me all the tools, resources, and opportunities and I did the bare minimum. I graduated high school early, went to college, joined the Army, and ran….to the beginning of my sidetracks. I only cared about myself and how things would affect me; never looking back (or forward for that matter). I was the original of the “mean girls”, pleasing only myself and having a sense of entitlement at the expense of others but then something happened. I got breast cancer and while it did not humble me in the beginning it was something I learned would be used for His glory. It was a turning point; a milestone that set Jesus working over-time even though I wasn’t seeking him. My partying was taken up a notch and two DUIs in three years followed. It was THERE that I was humbled enough, FINALLY, that I sought the forgiveness of my parents, my children, and Jesus….and actually got it despite my not feeling deserving of it from ANY of the above. I was made a new creation and nearly two years later, realize that it was the best gift I could ever be given. I am shown more and more of my purpose each day and feel that blogging in His name, as the cheerleader and spokesperson He CREATED me to be is just me finally coming into my own.

I wish that I could have been saved sooner but I didn’t think I had anything to be “saved” from. I would have loved my summary to be full of good examples for my children to follow instead of bad ones to stay away from BUT…. they see a change in me through this blog and through the reconnection we have established because of these changes and THAT is something I NEVER thought could happen.

Praying God’s Word Today: I pray today with Paul, “Everything that was a gain to me, I have considered to be a loss because of Christ. More than that, I also consider everything to be a loss in view of the surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. Because of Him I have suffered the loss of all things and consider them filth, so that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own from the law, but on that is through faith in Christ – the righteousness from God based on faith. My goal is to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His sufferings being conformed to His death, assuming that I will somehow reach the resurrection from among the dead.” Philippians 3:7-11

Dear Jesus:

Thank you for people like Paul. Thank you for not making me feel “a lost cause” for not being like some of those who just “got it” from the beginning. I love that you let me know that my history is full of people that have started out less than what you wanted for us but you give us parables on how they turned it around; in different contents. I love that Paul considered everything to be a loss but you consider NOTHING to be a loss.

You giving me hope has helped me learn that I need to try and give others hope; either by writing, speaking, or cheering them along. I now know that you had me go through what I did so that I could help them like Paul helped me.

Thank you Jesus for making it easier for me, and people like me, to find you. Thank you for showing me how much faith I really have at the beginning of this study and for allowing me to answer some tough questions via this blog. I hope that others are able to reach inside themselves and know that, just like Paul….and me, it is never too late to turn from the flesh and turn to You Word for answers; even if they aren’t the answers we think we are looking to get.

Love,

Me

Day Five: You Don't Mean It

Before You Begin:  Read Matthew 23:1-36

A Warning Against Hypocrisy

Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples: “The teachers of the law and the Pharisees sit in Moses’ seat. So you must be careful to do everything they tell you. But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy, cumbersome loads and put them on other people’s shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”

“Everything they do is done for people to see: They make their phylacteries wide and the tassels on their garments long; they love the place of honor at banquets and the most important seats in the synagogues; they love to be greeted with respect in the marketplaces and to be called “Rabbi” by others”

“But you are not to be called “Rabbi,” for you have on Teacher, and you are all brothers. And do not call anyone on earth “Father,” for you have one Father, and he is in heaven. Nor are you to be called instructors, for you have one Instructor, the Messiah. The greatest among you will be your servant. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Seven Woes on the Teachers of the Law and the Pharisees

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You shut the door of the kingdom of heaven in people’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when you have succeeded, you make them twice as much of a child of hell as you are.”

“Woe to you, blind guides! You say, “If anyone swears by the temple, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gold of the temple is bound by that oath. You blind fools! Which is greater: the gold, or the temple that makes the gold sacred?” You also say, “If anyone swears by the altar, it means nothing; but anyone who swears by the gift on the altar is bound by that oath. You blind men! Which is greater: the gift, or the altar that makes the gift sacred? Therefore, anyone who swears by the altar swears by it and by everything on it. And anyone who swears by it and by the one who dwells in it. And anyone who swears by God’s throne and by the one who sits on it.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You give a tenth of yours spices – mint, dill and cumin. But you have neglected the more important matters of the law – justice, mercy and faithfulness. You should have practiced the latter, without neglecting the former. You blind guides! You strain out a gnat but swallow a camel.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence. Blind Pharisee! First clean the inside of the cup and dish, and then the outside will be clean.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.”

“Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrite! You build tombs for the prophets and decorate the graves of the righteous. And you say, “If we had lived in the days of our ancestors, we would not have taken part with them shedding the blood of the prophets.” So you testify against yourselves that you are descendants of those who murdered the prophets. Go ahead, then, and complete what your ancestors started!”

“You snakes! You brood of vipers! How will you escape being condemned to hell? Therefore I am sending you prophets and sages and teachers. Some of them you will kill and crucify; others you will flog in your synagogues and pursue them from town to town. And so upon you will come all the righteous blood that has been shed on earth, from the blood righteous Abel to the blood of Zechariah son of Berekiah, whom you murdered between the temple and the altar. Truly I tell you, all this will come on this generation.”

Stop and Consider: “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”

Questions Asked of Me: How do you think Paul responded to the hypocrisy of the Jews in Jerusalem? How have you reacted in similar situations?

I think he recognized it. He was taught by the Pharisees that Jesus was making mention of. When Saul finished his education in Jerusalem and went home to Tarsus, John the Baptist began to “prepare the way for the Lord” (Matthew 3:3). Saul found influences like the wise teacher Gamaliel, but he also experienced exactly what Jesus was talking about. But what did he DO with that information? I was surprised, and still am quite frankly, that not all Christians LIVE as Christians but merely play the part; some looking the part by attending church every Sunday and having a bible on a bookshelf but what do they DO during the week?

An example of this would be me buying a desk online. It was exactly what I was looking for but too far to ask anyone to drive to pick up. I mentioned this to the seller; telling him where I lived…not an address but across the street from my church in Plymouth, MI. His responding email told me he attended church in Plymouth….MY church. He would be willing to deliver the desk that very weekend. I was excited and nearly ready to set everything up when I mentioned this to Lynnette. She told me that if I WERE going to do something this crazy that I promise to text her as he texted me he was on his way AND to text her the minute he left; not forgetting to text her by getting too wrapped in conversation. I remember her telling me… “Crazy people go to church too” when I told her I trusted the seller of this desk completely because we went to the same church. The transaction went without incident and he was a perfect gentleman. The desk turned out to be awesome and after I painted it….it was even more “me.” BUT…it was a comment that has stuck with me.

In what ways have you been disillusioned by Christians? How would you counsel someone who came to you confessing these types of feelings and disappointments?

I have been disappointed more than a few times by “Christians.” I assume, wrongly… that all Christians live as me, my family, and my friends live. Not to say that we are perfect examples of how Christians should be…by any stretch. Just to say that we talk about Jesus as if he were a friend sitting right next to us and excited to share how He is working for, in, and through us.

If someone confessed having feelings like those I have experienced, I would say simply… that each Christian, like each person…is to be seen as individual. I don’t judge those that are living differently than I feel Jesus is asking me to live but worry about myself and hope/pray that they get to a point where they figure out that saying you are a Christian and living as you have a REAL relationship with Jesus are two ENTIRELY different things. I looooved making that realization and will help anyone in ANY way to make that connection and hope they get that same feeling and it “sticks.”   =)

Detour: I didn’t get an opportunity to write my blog before church today, so I apologize for the lateness of this posting. Of course, like everything else that Jesus has a hand in, I am certain it was no accident. Last weekend was my first service I attended at our “new” church and I was definitely hooked on continuing to attend; despite my not wanting Robbe, or Jesus….to be right again. The pastor that spoke last week told of a class coming up in September called Next Steps so people get an opportunity to meet others from the congregation. He went on to say “I know it can be weird to be in a new place, in a new church, and feel like you don’t know anyone. I also know it would be just downright awkward to go up to someone you don’t know and say “Hi, my name is ___________ and I’m new.”

Well, I decided to DO just that. I brought ten of my Watercolor Ministries composition books to church with me today and I went up to random Ninevite women and introduced myself. “Excuse me…. Hi, my name is Gidget and I’m new to this state and newer to this church…just a couple of weeks.” After seeing their reactions, watching them smile and feel just a bit uncertain, I asked their name and handed them their composition book. I told them that I didn’t have paper to write on at last week’s service and a woman in my row lent me some. Some asked me to tell them more about myself, others laughed and thought it completely crazy that I would do such a thing but they loved the sentiment. With a couple others, I mentioned my wanting to be more involved and disappointed there were no bible studies or small groups and they shared my disappointment. One woman, Debbie, even told me she had been at been at Church on the Move for six years; and even though she recognized faces, there weren’t many faces she could put names to and fewer still the ones she had telephone numbers for. She sits in my row and saves for nearly all of her family members every week. I told her of my need to sit in her row and the same middle seats, like my last church, and she smiled.

THEN….which should come as no surprise, the service was all about DOING. If Jesus gave you the gift of giving, what are you DOING with that gift? If he gave you the gift of serving, what are you DOING with that gift? If he gave you the gift of inviting and you have many to invite, what are you DOING with that gift? We aren’t given our gifts by Jesus to keep on a shelf but to share….how are we sharing them?

If something is important to us….we share it. The pastor went on to say that if he were to come into our homes, he would be able to see what was important to us; how we display it and what we do with it. My husband and I looked at each other, realizing just what he would see if he came to our house….endless books about Jesus and sharing him, angels with inspiring messages, clocks, a framed American Flag that was on Robbe’s father’s casket, and place settings; 16 different ones to be exact. I have these things in my home…..what am I DOING with them? Are they merely taking up space or am I remembering family each time I pass the shelves? Am I reading and sharing what I read from these books about Jesus? Am I using my gift of place settings and hospitality to invite people into my home and be the spokesperson he created me to be?

Just don’t work and do, but share. (Matthew 5:13)

Salt and Light

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

Praying God’s Word Today: Father, I know that evil people and imposters will only become worse, deceiving and being deceived. But may I continue in what I have learned and firmly believed, knowing those from whom I learned, and that from childhood I have known the sacred Scriptures, which are able to instruct us for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus, making us complete and equipped for every good work (2Timothy 3:13-17). For even if we are faithless, You remain faithful. You cannot deny Yourself (2Timothy 2:13). Keep me ever close to Your Word, ever close to Your side, my eyes fixed only on Your sinless faithfulness.

            Paul’s Charge to Timothy

“….while evildoers and imposters will go from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived. But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the Holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the servant of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.”   2Timothy 3:13-17

Encouragement to be Faithful

Here is a trustworthy saying:

“If we died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him. If we disown him, he will also disown us; if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.”   2Timothy 2:11-13

Dear Jesus:

Thank you for having this book about Paul’s journey on faith be on my bookshelves JUST when I needed it. It was quite possibly the best gift my husband could have given me; even if he didn’t realize it at the time. I know there will be those that come into my life that deceive me. I even know that some of them may be dressed as Christians. I love this message given to Paul to share with Timothy. I love that this study and Your Word are helping me to see the faith I once had and the faith I so desperately seek and want back again. No matter what I have felt in these last months or even weeks since moving to Nineveh…. Your feelings and faith in me has not wavered. I am sorry for that. I want to be the salt and light for others and I know that to be that spokesperson, I need to fully live in faith and walk the footwork; it began this morning….and it felt awesome to just be myself; even in Nineveh.

Love,

Me

Day Four: Nothing Wasted

Before You Begin:  Read Acts 5:27-42 

The Apostles Persecuted

The apostles were brought in and made to appear before the Sanhedrin to be questioned by the high priest. “We gave you strict orders not to teach in his name,” he said. “Yet you have filled Jerusalem with your teaching and are determined to make us guilty of this man’s blood.”

Peter and the other apostles replied: “We must obey God rather than human beings! The God of our ancestors raised Jesus from the dead – whom you killed by hanging him on a cross. God exalted him to his own right hand as Prince and Savior that he might bring Israel to repentance and forgive their sins. We are witnesses of these things, and so is the Holy Spirit, whom God has given to those who obey him.”

When they heard this, they were furious and wanted to put them to death. But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men. Some time ago Theudas appeared, claiming to be somebody, and about four hundred men rallied to him. He was killed, all his followers were dispersed, and it all came to nothing. After him, Judas the Galilean appeared in the days of the census and led a band of people in revolt. He too was killed, and all his followers were scattered. Therefore, in the present case I advise you: Leave these men alone! Let them go! For if their purpose or activity is of human origin, it will fail. But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

His speech persuaded them. They called the apostles in and had them flogged. Then they ordered them not to speak in the name of Jesus, and let them go.

The apostles left the Sanhedrin, rejoicing because they had been counted worthy of suffering disgrace for the name. Day after day, in the temple courts and from house to house, they never stopped teaching and proclaiming the good news that Jesus is the Messiah.

Stop and Consider: “But a Pharisee named Gamaliel, a teacher of the law, who was honored by all the people, stood up in the Sanhedrin and ordered that the men be put outside for a little while. Then he addressed the Sanhedrin: “Men of Israel, consider carefully what you intend to do to these men”

Questions Asked of Me: Who are some of the people that have had the greatest influence on your life, and what do you most respect about them?

My Parents: I had no idea to what extent their influence reached until just two years ago. I feel it fair to mention that I am 43 years old and that isn’t something that I brag about or speak of lightly.

My daddy pushed me hard and even to this day I hold his opinion in the highest esteem. A lot of the reason that I let so much time go between contact with them was because of this perception. I was ashamed of my behavior and, even though there were 2500 miles between us, could not “face” what would surely be disapproval. I felt the same way when I tried to ask Jesus for forgiveness….ashamed of my past and not worthy of forgiveness. I will not forget, early in my relationship with Jesus, a homework assignment that my dad gave to me, saying simply: “Read John”. It was a start. I read John over and over, not wanting to be inundated with things I couldn’t understand but also knowing that my daddy told me to “Read John” and with each page turned, I felt closer to him.

My mom is the woman I most want to be like and I don’t say that lightly either, considering that I wanted to get as far away from her and the small town I grew up in, as quickly as I could. Maybe we were too much alike for our own good and the more of her that I saw in me, the more I wanted to change it. She is the person I most emulated early in my relationship with Jesus. She was the only Christian I really knew and one that I knew would not lead me down the wrong path. I could only copy her until I began to learn and see things for myself; forming my own opinions about truth in the bible but still following her example and being led by her direction.

The greatest thing I respect about them both (although this may sound selfish) is that they never gave up on me. They had such a closeness with Jesus that they had faith that I would come around one day and they were going to be there for it; twelve years and counting.

THAT is the kind of faith I am looking for in participating in this study about Paul by Beth Moore. Unwavering faith in Him; not just when things are going well but when what you pray for is completely out of your control and you know that Jesus has his hand in it even if the person you pray for…does not.

My best friend Lynnette: She was the first friend I found in my new playground that Jesus led me to; my church I called home until just a couple of weeks ago. She was the quietest of women in my first bible study attended there. We had nothing in common but Him and that was all we needed. She helped me find my voice while finding her own. She taught me confidence in him and I like to think that He showed her how to be more bold through me. We are the perfect pair and I say that just because without Jesus, we would never have met or become as close as we are.

I respect her opinion. I trust her implicitly. I love to hear her talk about her husband and kids, her mom and her sister, and I love to see her interact with other women at bible studies or small groups. People trust her and seek her opinion as I do. I am grateful for her every day and even though we no longer live just ten minutes apart, I know that our friendship will continue to grow because of how we were brought together and the fact that Jesus is the center of our conversations and we fuel each other in our love for Him.

Name one or two of the best pieces of godly advice you’ve ever received. What has God enabled you to do (or protected you from doing) as a result of knowing and applying this?

From the pastor of the first church we attended, Pastor Bill DesRochers.: He told me “Read Job. If you think you have it bad….just read Job and see how truly blessed you are to JUST be in the circumstance you are in” AND he also said…. “There are those of us that God knows get the message the first time and then there are people like us…. the ones that get the message but have to do a little footwork too. God knows that sometimes if we don’t have to put a little action into it; we will feel as if we got away with something. And, before you know it…. We are right back to where He rescued us from.” I did just as he said. I trusted Pastor Bill and he was right. I have thought of that afternoon nearly every day for the past two years. I have even lived my life by “Faith and Footwork” until lately…. Ugh….. lately.

Even though we don’t attend that church anymore, and haven’t in nearly two years, I know that God has enabled me to do great things because I listened to the first pastor He put in front of me. I think God has trusted me with a lot since those days of uncertainty and I KNOW He doesn’t like to see me struggle as I have been doing “lately”.

Detour: I am grateful for walls of books to choose from for “times such as these.” I am glad for this book of Paul on faith for asking me these questions and helping me to realize how I got to where I am right now; for allowing me to remember the people in my life that have encouraged and influenced me along my journey so far.

I love that Beth dragged Galatians into her reading today… “One of the most wonderful concepts in the Word of God concerns the plan He has for our lives. In Galatians 1:15, Paul described God as the One “who from my mother’s womb set me apart and called me by His grace.” Yes, God had a plan for Saul from birth. Nothing in the young man’s life would be a waste unless he refused to let God use it.”

Wow…. Really? Nothing wasted. I used to compare myself to my sisters. They never messed up as much as I had. One practically came out of the womb loving Jesus; at least that is how I remember it although I have been told she had her moments.  I wanted to be like them; not leaving the small town we grew up in, still with their first husbands and cancer free.

I messed up…a lot. I compared myself to people… a lot. But Jesus tells me that isn’t what he meant for me at all. Nowhere in his plan did anything of that come up. My breast cancer, my divorces, my bad decisions; one after another…. THOSE were all part of his plan for me. So I guess I am right on track.  =)

He is using me, all of me; my insecurities, my mess ups, and my mistakes ALL for His glory. Who, but Jesus could see that coming?

Praying God’s Word Today: Lord, Your Word says, “Knowledge inflates with pride, but love builds up. If anyone thinks he knows anything, he does not yet know it as he ought to know it. But if anyone loves God, he is known by Him” (1 Cor. 8:1-3). May I not just study Your Word to learn things and accumulate insights, but rather to know You and increase my love for You. I want the full benefit of what Your Word can teach me. May nothing -  may nothing – be wasted!

1 Corinthians 8:1-3

“We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something, does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God.”

Dear Jesus:

No amount of degrees can teach me what I can learn from Your Word and those that you put in my path. My life is not where I thought it would be growing up, but I didn’t think I would ever have a relationship like the one with you, to change that vision. I will continue to be obedient to you and listen to the advice given by those you show me; my parents, my husband, my best friend. I love that I found this book all over again and it is no longer a pretty fixture to fill space on my bookshelf. You know that these books will all have a time and place and I am grateful for this one.

Thank you for making me feel like I am useful to you and that nothing in my past, present, or future will be wasted.

Love,

Me

Day Three: Windows and Walls

Before You Begin:  Read Acts 21:37 – 22:3

Paul Speaks to the Crowd

As the soldiers were about to take Paul into the barracks, he asked the commander, “May I say something to you?”

“Do you speak Greek?” he replied, “Aren’t you the Egyptian who started a revolt and led four thousand terrorists out into the desert some time ago?”

Paul answered, “I am a Jew, from Tarsus in Cilicia, a citizen of no ordinary city. Please let speak to the people.”

Having received the commander’s permission, Paul stood on the steps and motioned to the crowd. When they were all silent, he said to them in Aramaic: “Brothers and fathers, listen now to my defense.”

When they heard him speak to them in Aramaic, they became very quiet.

Then Paul said: “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. Under Gamaliel I was thoroughly trained in the law of our fathers and was just as zealous for God as any of you are today”.

Stop and Consider: “I am a Jew, born in Tarsus of Cilicia, but brought up in this city. Under Gamaliel I was thoroughly trained in the law of our fathers and was just as zealous for God as any of you are today”.

Questions Asked of Me: Looking back, what are some of the things you misunderstood about Christian life and practice, things you were once adamant about but have since plastered over with grace?

Growing up, church was something I did because my parents went. As mentioned before, when given the opportunity to stop going… I jumped at it. I thought church was a bunch of people telling you what you couldn’t do. I felt restricted and confined but I was a teenager…what did I know. When I was an adult and diagnosed with breast cancer; having three little girls, I took that as an opportunity to blame God for the diagnosis and began to feel sorry for myself. But, just a couple of years ago, when I realized that I needed to be a part of something bigger than myself; I thought I was too late and too bad to be forgiven. I couldn’t forgive myself for my past and surely didn’t think it possible for Jesus to be waiting there with open arms, ready to forgive me and give me yet another opportunity to seek a relationship with Him; not the religious part I once knew but the relationship I now so desperately needed. Plastered over with grace? You can say that again. With each mistake, each detour, each misstep…more grace and another layer of plaster given to me without question. Whew….

Why are legalism and judgmentalism such safe havens for us? What is it about them – what do they provide us – that we keep going back for?

Legalism could be defined as any attempt to rely on self-effort to either attain or maintain our justification before God.

Judgmentalism is the judging of people or things using non-Biblical standards to judge by.

It’s easy to turn back to these characteristics instead of doing what the bible instructs us to do.

Safe havens? Hmmm….not sure if I would go that far but I know I still try to “be good enough” to get into heaven and rely on myself rather than have faith that Jesus is going to take care of things for me. I try to fix situations I know I should give to Him and I try to run from others I know He is directing me to; thinking I know what is better for me because it is easier and a more direct route to getting what I want. The whole “his timing and not my own” is hard to live with and harder to accept despite his track record in my life lately….There is that word again.

Judging others was always something I fell back on because in comparing my life to others always made me feel better about myself. Now, I don’t think I judge people as often but I do compare what I have and am comfortable with…with the unknown path put before me; hence the bible study on faith…renewing and consistent.

I think these characteristics provide us with something that is easy to slip into. Something that is more commonly accepted, and almost expected, around us. It is harder to do what is good for us; i.e. Dieting instead of diving into fast food or chocolate cake. I know I keep going back because it is what I knew for so much of my life. It is easier to be dragged into a pit than to try and pull someone out…no matter who is doing the dragging or pulling. Jesus is there with a hand out for all but we have to be willing to trust and walk out in faith; exactly what I am working on now.

Even with your clear understanding that God has accepted you by grace through faith, do you still find yourself appealing to Him on the basis of your good works and best efforts? How can freedom in Christ coexist with a zealously disciplined lifestyle?

Absolutely. I try to do my  best and secretly ask myself “What would Jesus do?” many times throughout the day. I know that there is NO way I can get to heaven by being good enough and yet I still try. I know that freedom in Jesus can coexist with my overzealousness at times BUT I know that He just shakes his head and smiles and thinks to himself and even utters to me… “Lighten up. Sometimes you are way too hard on yourself. I just want you to do your best in being more like me. I want you to know that I don’t expect you to be perfect but I think you would agree that since you have come to know and accept me, you are much better at making decisions and we make a pretty good team.” He and I have been coexisting for nearly two years; despite all of my quirks. Whew….

Praying God’s Word Today: “As Your Word says, “If we have known Christ in a purely human way, yet now we no longer know Him like that. Therefore if anyone is in Christ, there is a new creation; old things have passed away, and look, new things have come. Now everything is from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation” (2Corinthians 5:16-18). Help me not to see You through the lens of legalism, nor others through the lens of judgment. Help me instead to experience the reality of being a new creation.

Dear Jesus:

You know I try to be “the perfect Christian” sometimes and I scold myself when I falter. I LOVE being a new creation in You because, let’s face it… without you there wasn’t an opportunity for me to be better than my past. I always felt like the actions in my life before you, portrayed me. I was the alcoholic, I was the bad daughter, I was the bad mother, and I was the “mean girl” that pretended to be something I wasn’t and judged others based on anything I could to make myself look better. Without you, I didn’t believe that I was worth anything more than that. I love that I can have a relationship with you and it isn’t a disciplined religion or something I HAVE to do. YOU are something I choose to do and I can’t imagine what, or who, I would be without you. I KNOW that faith in you is the answer to everything. I know that you have a track record of ALWAYS taking care of me. You have answered every prayer even if it wasn’t the answer I wanted or it didn’t get there the way I thought it should.

Thank you Jesus for ALL of these opportunities and for giving me so much more in a relationship than I could ever get out of my legalistic past or my trying to be good enough to get anywhere.

Love,

Me