Today was such a full day and not how one would expect. There were no errands to run, the gym is closed on Sundays, so no workout, and even though I had intentions on sewing, I never made it to my library to do that. Yet, my day was full; FULL-filling.
We had a guest pastor (Tim Elmore) today in church and the topic of his talk was: The Bucket List. The premise of a “bucket list” is to make a list of all that you want to accomplish before you ‘kick the bucket.’ Despite the service beginning with a clip from a movie of the same title starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, the service wasn’t about making a list of things to do before you die, taking action and doing things while you can with no regrets at the end of your life. The service was literally about buckets and how we need to fill them.
As he walked to the table at the center of the stage, we noticed three large buckets staggered nearby; each with a different label. Tim told us that these represented the three buckets in our life: “In Your Control” “Out of Your Control” and “Within Your Influence”. Even though there weren’t a lot of blanks on the sheet inside of our program, my pen moved feverishly as he spoke, completely feeling and understanding what he was saying. It seems simple enough but as I mentioned yesterday; it is one thing to know the right thing to do and quite another to do it. Tim defined the types of things that could be found in each bucket and then proceeded to share the cards found in each one. In Your Control: Emotions, Time with Friends, Attitudes, Diet, Exercise (REALLY… I did not add the last two myself). Out of Your Control: Car accidents, Cancer, Job Layoff, Ballgames, Gossip. Within Your Influence: Reputation, Children, What People Think of You.
Let’s face it, sometimes Jesus goes old school and speaks fluent symbolism like Revelation but then there are other times where He just puts it out there; literally… in black and white. Sitting in row 5, nodding in agreement as he spoke, and writing as fast as my pen would allow… a smile escaped my lips as I said to myself “I am soooo getting this Jesus. Thank you for your affirmations and reminders through him.” God gave us the gift of freewill. Freewill = choices. Lysa’s devotion today said that the “way out” that God provides is the ability to decide in advance….” Not only do we have a choice but we must make a choice; which bucket do we put things into? There are many things that are in our control and it is up to us to use discernment in corralling those decisions; not giving up too quickly (because it is easier) to say it is out of our control, walking away from it. (Ahem…. Diet and exercise). I went through the “God loves me just the way I am phase and who has time to exercise….blah blah blah. I can’t blame family genes because I am the chunkiest of our tribe and deep down I knew that I could control my eating and exercise habits because I have seen results before; even not too long ago when training for the 3Day 60Mile walk. I even thought of blaming my husband because I was twenty pounds lighter when we met and if he didn’t make me so happy and tell me that he loves the way I look all the time, maybe I would have made changes sooner. (Poor Robbe….that is a lose:lose situation since him telling me I needed to lose a couple pounds wouldn’t have been in his best interest either).
I have had a few things in the “Out of Your Control” bucket of my life; breast cancer being at the top of that list. But Tim reminded us that things inevitably will happen that are out of our control, it is how we handle those situations that make us who we are and show others what is possible with a relationship with Christ; I couldn’t help secretly patting myself on the back for envisioning my vase by the front door, full of notes of things we were giving to him because they were truly out of our control. (Besides, the clear vase is so much prettier than a white 5-gallon bucket.)
There are many opportunities given to us where we are able to influence others, for the good and the bad. I am not proud of where I was but my influence used to be for my own personal gain and usually the demise of others; sometimes even my own children. In my relationship with Jesus, I am thrilled to report that the influence I now have is nothing to be ashamed of and I never have to say a thing because actions speak louder than words. I no longer worry about gossip or who has what to say about me. Like everyone else I have bad days but they are fewer and far between and never last long. I make it my priority to live by example and hope that others see Jesus in me without me having to wear the “I am a Christian” t-shirt or name drop my church in every other conversation. Wanting to exude HIM fully in my outer appearance as well as my heart is the reason I have taken this journey of changing my life on the outside the way he has done on the inside. How can I not be successful when he has already proven what is possible even with the most sketchy of candidates in me?
I never would have guessed I would be here… THIS point in my life, just two years ago. I can’t think of one thing that I have or do now that I had or did two years ago; the people I hung out with, the life I led, the job I did, the man I was married to, the lack of communication with my family and children, and the missing relationship with Him altogether. No matter how much we plan or think we have things figured out, each incidence comes with its own label “Subject to Change.” Where this may have been a scary revelation two years ago, I find myself grateful for it now. If things weren’t subjected to change, I wouldn’t have the life I have or the opportunities to make it even better. I told the woman at Curves when I signed up “This is not just about weight loss for me but a reason to get out of the house every day and a way to show others what Jesus is capable of – on the outside, as well as the inside.” The best part was that she didn’t even blink but seemed happy for me to make the realization and happier to take the next step. I wouldn’t have said that the life He has given to me was stagnant but it had gotten comfortable….predictable; volunteering at church, bible studies, small groups, sewing to get ready for some awesome Lylas adventure but… it was time for more, showing me that being a Christian doesn’t remove the label “Subject to Change.” “In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” Proverbs 16:9
I am grateful for the three buckets in my life and the freewill that God has given me to make the right choices about what goes where; diet and exercise moving to the top of my “In Your Control” bucket. And….if things weren’t subject to change, I can’t even imagine where I would be today but know that I would be giving myself the credit for all of the good things and blaming those around me for everything negative. Now I know that good or bad, it all comes from him and he will never give me more than I can handle. “No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13
No comments:
Post a Comment