Day Three: I Was Made for More....Thirty Seconds at a Time

I have been guilty of not taking enough time for myself….as have many of us. But if my husband, friends, kids, church, parents, or….pretty much anyone needed me for something, I would be there for them; as long as they needed, without question. Why is that?

Today our Small Group discussion was “Slowing Down and Celebrating.” It may sound a bit ironic at first listen but it is truly about slowing down and celebrating the moments as they happen…. even making those moments happen in the first place.

My husband was given a great opportunity to work in aerospace, even if is just for a short time until we see what God’s plan for him is. He left for Oklahoma on Monday and will be gone for a month; needless to say, I have a lot of time to myself. His opportunity has created an opportunity for myself…. in this journey of craving Jesus more than anything else. With no one to cook for, clean up after, or sit by the door for…waiting to get home from work, there is no excuse for me to not spend more quality time with Jesus or personal time for myself. I miss my husband bunches but I have to remind myself that I can’t sit at home and use that as a reason not to be selfish about wanting more for myself; more of what Jesus wants for me.

Lysa’s devotion today was a great reminder of Jesus wanting more for me, of being made for more; not settling when it comes to myself, not putting “me” after all others, and not being okay with being “chunky” saying “God loves me just the way I am…. I doubt he cares about what size I am.” And I actually was to that point before discovering this study, even pretending to be happy with the 200ish, size 16 frame that was my reality. No more….because He made me for more.

According to Lysa: “We were made for victory. Sometimes we just have to find our way to that truth.” He wants success for us in EVERY area of our life and this is one where I was definitely lacking so I vowed to Him, to my husband, and to myself to start making healthier lifestyle changes and not give up if results weren’t immediate (which I secretly hope they are).

Part of my “homework” and “footwork” for the Made to Crave study is activity. Changing to a healthier lifestyle means reading more of His word, learning what he wants for me, eating better, and getting in some exercise. I went from justifying I “have curves in all the right places” to being grateful for there being “Curves in all the right places”; Curves Fitness Clubs for women of course. They are everywhere and for that I am thankful because that means there is one very close to home so I could join and participate. They have a couple of different mottos that found me right where I was. The first one: “Stronger Together” – If I share my strength with just one woman, I can help her become fit, gain confidence, and avoid disease. Together we can make the world one million women stronger. The other motto that I see as I walk in the door or look at the clock: “Be ready to amaze yourself.” I smile as I add to it….  Be ready to amaze yourself and glorify Him.

I mentioned before my skepticism about Curves really being a work out that would work for me; although hoping it would prove me wrong because it is the ONLY “gym” close enough to my house to get to every day and really commit to. Just like my relationship with Jesus, I soon realized that you get out of it….what you put into it. The Curves workout is unique because you elevate your heart rate by working hard on the strength training machines and maintain your heart rate by moving lively on the recovery boards. The recovery boards are placed between the strength training stations so you’ll use them several times during a single circuit. There are at least a dozen of various machines “in the circuit” with recovery boards between each one. Curves works because it gives you a complete cardio and strength-training workout in just 30 minutes, where you can burn up to 500 calories every time. The circuit is made up of resistance machines that work every major muscle group, two muscles at a time. And with a circuit coach to teach and motivate, you’re sure to reach your fitness goals in no time. Whether you want to lose weight and inches, gain energy or tone up, the Curves circuit with work for you. (Information taken from http://www.curves.com/).

My skepticism was simple: How could sitting around in a circle, changing “stations” every thirty seconds really work? But after three workouts this week and a commitment to go six days a week for at least thirty minutes each day, I am excited at the possibility. I am going to improve my physical fitness by doing for “me” thirty seconds at a time. I am going to improve my spiritual fitness by committing to more times of solitude with “Him”.

Every time I get to my Curves, I walk in ready to amaze myself and glorify Him. With each push of my legs or pulling of arms or simply running/boxing in place on the recovery board, I want to give 110% for Him which is better than any personal trainer hovering over me. No… I am not saying that Cardboard Jesus goes with me and pushes me harder but I will do more for him than anyone else that could push me.

Paul says: “I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which God has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe.” Ephesians 1:18-19

For a long time I felt I held no value; but in finding my relationship with Jesus and deciding to “amaze myself and glorify Him”, I have found the promise of my glorious inheritance.

Thanks Paul.  =D

Day Two: Counting Gummy Bears

This morning was another great morning and another great opportunity to “Win for Him.” What could be better than losing weight with a Christ Centered program? Glowing on the inside and out and being immersed in His word while doing it. Woohoo.

I love that Jesus finds a way to use our past challenges for His glory and it is still hard for me to believe that the same “person” I avoided for so long forgave me when I couldn’t forgive myself and now, I do whatever I can to forgive those around me and share the mercy and grace He gave so freely. That being said… it would be really great to lose weight, be an example, and give Him the glory not just for what he has pulled me through from my past but for walking next to me as I learn to crave him more than anything else around me. Since accepting a relationship with Him I have done my best to strive to please him by soaking up what I can in His word; forming a true friendship with him and a crush on Paul in the process. I have started and stopped many things in my past 42 years but my love and interest in him has only gotten stronger in the past 16 months, never wavering…. always wanting more. I am far from being the most spiritually fit I can be but I will never stop striving for it. Why then am I so complacent when it comes to my physical fitness? Shouldn’t my outsides match my insides? You betcha… and it starts with this bible study. I loved, and completely saw myself in something Lysa said in her devotion yesterday…. “I was a woman who loved Jesus. Why couldn’t I figure this out? I had found victory in so many areas of my life, but this area alluded me.”

I know that He sees me as a success story already but what if I could give him a little bit more? What if the way my jeans fit and my arms looked could be credited to him too? I know that he celebrated when I returned “home” but imagine the celebration that could be had if I could run to him without my legs rubbing together; crossing a real finish line and breaking the tape as I run into his arms like long lost friends after entirely too much time apart.

I needed milk and a food scale today. Imagine my surprise when the local drugstore didn’t have the scale, even in the “As Seen On TV” aisle. Picked up a few things without giving up on finding the scale….that I never found. (Thank God mommy ordered me one and Cardboard Jesus will be on the porch waiting for it on Monday.) This is only Day Two but the snacks were screaming my name…I ignored them all. I never noticed the product placement before either. Do we really need four aisles devoted to Easter basket fillers; candy, grass, toys, and plastic eggs? I never really thought I “craved” food or snacks but in not being able to have them, they seem to be everywhere and I found myself craving them more than ever. 

Crave: [kreyv] verb, craved, craving

-       verb (used with object)

1.    to long for; want greatly; desire eagerly: to crave sweets; to crave affection.

2.    to require; need: a problem craving prompt attention.

3.    to ask earnestly for (something); beg for.

4.    to ask (a person) earnestly for something or to do something.

-       verb (used without object)

5.    to beg or plead (usually followed by for).

I wanted the Hostess Ding Dongs greatly. My “Inner Gidget” was begging for the Lays potato chips even though they clearly aren’t ever accused of being a health food. I earnestly thought to myself that I could have the Chips Ahoy cookies and no one would know the difference. Who am I kidding? He would know. He knows my heart and thoughts even before I do. Keep walking. Get out of that aisle and grab the milk. Done. I nearly made it to the cashier before spotting a .99 cent bag of Gummy Bears. I surveyed the package for the nutritional information but being new to the whole Weight Watchers Points Plus thing, couldn’t figure out the number of points per serving. They are little and chewy; harmless little bears. How bad could it be? Even Jesus likes juicy treats once in a while, right? When I got home I counted out the serving size of 17 Gummy Bears and was ecstatic to learn they were just four points; totally worth it.

The “Made to Crave” bible study is just that. It isn’t a diet scheme or weight loss manual; but a study to crave God and not food.  That being said…. It is up to us to pick our own healthy eating plan and I picked Weight Watchers, a program that has been worked very successfully by my mom and my mother in law. I want what they were able to accomplish… set a goal and make it happen by healthier eating and using this program to get there. Today was the first day I attempted the points calculating and even though I am still toying with various options in my profile and plan manager pages, I am having alot of fun plugging in foods and building menus. With all of these tools at my disposal…. how can I let that snack aisle get to me? I am allowed 34 points each day on the program and was given my first goal to reach of 211. I know with His help I will reach it. What does Jesus have to say to encourage me? 

Be bold. Be transparent. Be the spokesperson I created you to be.

I will NOT let Him down.

Lysa’s devotion today said “Nothing changes until we make the choice to redirect our misguided cravings to the only One capable of satisfying them.” The choice has been made. For me there is no other. It’s out there. It is not about me but about Him. And to think that WHEN this works I can do it ALL over again with other friends and they can share with their friends, and they with theirs. Healthier bodies and healthier relationships with Him is a great thing to share.  

Jesus tells a story in Matthew 19 of a young rich man that wants to follow Him. Lysa summed it up as I, too, would imagine it… “I want you to give up the one thing that you crave more than me.” I don’t know about anyone else….but I realized today that there may have been a few things I craved more than Him without even realizing it.

To borrow from the “Crave” definition once more:  I long for Him and desire to be closer to Jesus than ever before. I require more of myself to show Him I am worthy of the love He has for me. I ask earnestly…I beg for help in making the best of this opportunity that has been given to me.

I will be bold. I will be transparent. I will be the spokesperson He created me to be

Welcome to Day One: I'm Craving Him....Come with Me.

Over coffee a couple weeks ago, I told my best friend that I wanted to make a few physical changes. What she shared next, almost “matter of fact-ly” set so many great things in motion.

Lynnette told me that her mom and dad were reading and following a new bible study called “Made to Crave… Satisfying your deepest desire with God not Food.” When she told me that it was written by Lysa TerKeurst and had a participant guide, a book, AND a DVD… I knew I had to learn more. I checked out her website at www.lysaterkeurst.com and downloaded a free chapter… I was sold. So much so that I had to call mom and tell her all about it. The next thing I knew, within a few days, mom called me to say “You have a package coming.” She ordered the Made to Crave set for me and she and my sister were going to do the study too. How cool is that?

This study is more than the latest weight loss gimmick and doesn’t have a food plan to go with it; you get to pick the one you think will work best for you. It is a “How to Guide” for being the person God intended us to be.

I am blessed even to have a friend do this with me. I met Kathy just a few weeks ago in our Small Group, I jokingly told her in the driveway as we left that first night…. “Just you watch, we are going to be best friends. I just know it.” Who knew that a bible study like this would bridge that gap and make it a reality? We are going to be accountable to each other and use this book as more than just a study to get to the best “us” we can be for Him, but to be the best “us” we can be for each other.

So, yes…today is a Wednesday and it was Day One. Not a typical day to make a life change but nothing He has done through me in the last 16 months has been typical… why start now?

I slept in today, easing into my new life in Him. I took the dog out and High Fived my Cardboard Jesus when we came back in the house. (I could have sworn I saw him wink at me as if to say “We got this kid…. Make it happen.”). Donned the sweats and sweatshirt, made my list of things to do, and out the door I went. When I made it to the gym, I realized that my pink and grey NIKEs were on the ottoman in my library and NOT on my feet. No…I did not walk out into the snow with just my socks on; Curves frowns upon slushy feet in sneakers walking in and getting right onto the machines, so you need to wear snow boots and change into your work out shoes… kinda hard to do when they are placed neatly on an ottoman in a room two miles away. Oops. I giggled to myself and asked (out loud) “What would Jesus do?”  =)  So, I went across the street to the salon and treated myself to a manicure and pedicure. Can’t argue with Cardboard Jesus, right? The next two hours were spent pampering and reading, highlighting, and taking notes in the margins of my “Made to Crave” book.

I slinked out of my black furry snow boots, scrunched up the sweats to the knees, nestled into my massage chair, and dipped my feet into steamy hot, bubbling water. It wasn’t enough to just relax with my book….I had to boast of my decadent treat to Lynnette. When I asked Jesus what he would do in this scenario….calling her to brag was not the response, but I couldn’t resist sharing my surroundings to my best friend when she had several little ones under the age of six running circles around her.

After sitting just ten minutes, two girlfriends walked in together for pedicures of their own. Note to self: Bring Lynnette next time….leave the kids at home. When lotions and potions….massaging and rubbing began I couldn’t help but imagine the perfect analogy; if “Grace” had a physical feeling….it would be a pedicure. I didn’t earn this afternoon to myself and I couldn’t think of anything I did to deserve it; just like “Grace”. I giggled to myself as I remembered my Revelation bible study; Jesus’ angel appearing to John and speaking in symbols. Yes, if “Grace” could be described as a feeling or symbol…. It could easily be a pedicure; a symbol that any woman could completely relate to.

Feeling freshly painted and relaxed, I went home to get my sneakers and then backtracked to the gym. I signed up for a yearlong membership and committed to coming every day; working the circuit at Curves as the music played and women filed in one at a time. I was skeptical and honestly didn’t think that the hydraulic machines could really do much since there were no weights hanging from bars and you shifted stations every thirty seconds but the workout was invigorating and challenging and I am excited to become a regular there and take advantage of all that they have to offer.

Next stop was to the coffeeshop to order a smaller, skinnier version of my favorite “foo foo” coffee. Much like the gym, I thought, “How good can it be if all the good stuff is out of it?” I got the smallest cup they offered, skim milk, and no whipped cream. I have to admit I didn’t mind the milk change but when she asked if I wanted the topping, I hesitated. She smiled as she noticed my inner struggle. I said “I would love the topping but know that it would be too much like eating a Twinkie and drinking a Diet Coke. You better leave it off.” I was shocked at just how yummy the tasty chocolate coffee was and felt tricked into liking it like telling our kids that something good for you….really can be good. I took my very small cup and headed to the grocery store to buy healthier choices to fill my pantry and fridge.

The market started off peachy since you walk into the produce section and many items there are good for you. But when I had to pass the bakery to get to the meat department, the craving for coconut cake was almost too much to handle. I admit that I slowed down but didn’t stop, not wanting to see something too irresistible on the first day. I was a good girl….getting my yogurt, water, cucumber, salad, a few diet meals, and some “must haves” for my new doggie. Paulie isn’t watching his weight but he does need something to nibble on as I have my meals. It was only when I reached the checkout and began unloading my cart onto the conveyor belt that I immediately felt like an old single lady with only her dog to keep her company. My items clearly said lots about me that I quickly had to make excuses for. It was only then that I noticed I never put my wedding ring on today either….remembering it was still on my bedside table, landing there just before bed, alone….last night. The cashier told me that I didn’t have to take the water out next time since it was so heavy and I had to say “Oh…. Thank you. My husband is out of town for a while and he usually lifts that for me.” Huh??? Lol…. I am sure that she didn’t care one way or the other but I had to make sure she knew I wasn’t the chunky older lady with just a dog waiting for her at home at night. I smiled to myself as I headed out the door. It was just one of those days. One of those productive, life changing, really making something happen kinda days.

Lysa’s program includes more than the book, the participant’s guide, and the DVD. It also includes a 21 Day Challenge. Today is Day One. The title of today’s devotion “Chocolate is my Comfort and my Deliverer.” Oops… I had a chocolate coffee. <gulp>

Loved her reference to size…. “You are beautiful and loved, no matter if you’re a size zero or a size thirty. You are beautiful just the way you are. But God loves you so much that He doesn’t want you to stay in a place of defeat.”  I know it….whew. I have never been a zero or a thirty but have been a fourteen/sixteen for more years than I can care to remember. I love how Lysa gives her “number” in open honesty in the first chapter of the book. But then I love anyone that is transparent for others to follow and so I, too, am “outing” myself. Before heading out today, I stepped on the scale (out of range of the mirror of course) and the numbers tipped at 215. Huh? I was so proud of myself for losing weight, once being as much as 265, that I guess 215 looked pretty good for a while….for a while. Oh well…. Have to start somewhere and it truly is just a number (one I hope goes down though). Part of joining Curves included an assessment with medical questions, another visit to the scale, and a measuring tape taking a series of measurements all over.....all over. I had just gotten used to the 215 number when their digital version blinked 223.  I whispered to Jesus “Guess we have our work cut out for us. You ready for this?”

Today’s devotion goes on to finish with…. “The process of getting healthy has to be about more than just losing weight and focusing on ourselves. It’s about recalibrating our souls so that we want to change for the right reasons.” I have not done this for the right reasons before; always living superficially and wanting to please others more than myself…and there were many. But this time I have amazing resources available to me; friends, this bible study, membership to Curves and Weight Watchers online, a supportive husband, and doing it for the RIGHT reasons. When asked to give two goals as part of my assessment, I immediately responded…. “I want to be as physically fit as I am spiritually fit.” (Where did that come from? I surprised myself and tried not to look too shocked at what just came out of my mouth.) My next goal… “I want my outside to match my inside. I have this awesome love for God and feel energized inside and I want it to be apparent on the outside too.” (WOW…. Really? No doubt that this is a "God thing" because it surely wasn't something I could have come up with on my own.)  She agreed that they were two really good goals and before I could think about what I was saying, I replied…. “I know, right?” We both laughed. When I walked out of the gym and breathed in the chilly Michigan air, I knew this time was different. My goals weren’t the superficial “I want to zip up my jeans without laying down on the bed” or “I want to wear a belt and tuck in my shirt”… (Those were real goals I gave years ago when asked…. Although those would be nice perks to the program.)

Psalm 139 said it…. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” I look forward to learning more about craving Him and not food and being fearfully and wonderfully successful in this part of my journey.

Just Another Road Trip - Living Obediently

To say that our lives are one unexpected experience after another would be an understatement, but we have learned that each moment is part of His plan and we never pretend to know what is going to happen next….let alone the reasons behind them.

I have been home just over two months. About three weeks after I got back, my husband was laid off via phone call just two days before Christmas. Weeks before his contract was due to end, he asked his supervisor and liaison at the contract house, if his assignment was secure or would be ending. He was told his work was good and that no decisions were made one way or another but he would be the first to know as soon as anything was solid. On the last day before the company shut down for a week, he worked a normal day before coming home at 4:00pm…by 5:02pm the phone was ringing and it was his contract house that placed him at his latest assignment. They were calling to inform him that he was no longer needed, asked if he had any “personal affects” left in the office, and said “Don’t worry, you are eligible to receive unemployment compensation.” It was not the news we hoped for but a scenario we prayed about often in the weeks before. We took solace in knowing that this was part of His plan for us and not for us to try and figure out.

We have a clear vase in the foyer near our front door. We put worries and drama on pieces of paper, fold them into quarters and throw them inside. Every folded note is a reminder of things that we can’t control but know Jesus is working on behind the scenes….. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back from captivity. I will gather you from all the nations and places where I have banished you,” declares the Lord, “and will bring you back to the place from which I carried you into exile.” Jeremiah 29:11-14

We wrote yet another note to Him, placed it into our vase and prayed. We knew that when we called on him, he listened to us and we promised to continue to live by faith and footwork…. “Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.” James 1:12.

Our faith and footwork motto has been extended to include….living obediently. We have had faith that Jesus will provide for us…. he always has. My husband has been diligently searching for a job online, attending the JobShop at our church each week, networking with up to a dozen contract houses, and going to job fairs; fulfilling the footwork part and now Jesus has asked us to take that a step further. A company found his resume online, phoned him, interviewed him and then offered him a position in aerospace…IN OKLAHOMA. It was not part of our plan but we know that it isn’t about us but what Jesus does for us….no longer being behind the scenes but asking us to be bold and go where He directs us, wherever that may be.

The job is just three to six months…to start but we are grateful for whatever He gives to us and jumped at this opportunity. Tomorrow my husband is on a flight to Oklahoma and my Cardboard Jesus has already packed up his backpack and will be boarding the plane with him. I was gone for six months and we vowed never to be apart again. But, we now know that the distance and time between us then was also part of his plan and my husband being gone for a month will seem like no time at all. Where we once were questioning his unemployment for two months we realize just how grateful we were for so much time together before this amazing opportunity. “In their hearts humans plan their course but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Jesus…my life is yours. All that I have is because of your grace. This job that you have blessed our family with, no matter where to or for how long…is all because of you. We are living obediently and do not pretend to know what your plan is for us but always promise to follow the path that you light for us. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

I have never lived on my own. I went right from high school to college to the army to a husband. Tomorrow it will be me, Cardboard Jesus, and Paulie…my new cocker spaniel named after “You Know Who.” My husband will be gone a month and then home for two weeks then gone for a month, etc. Praise to Him for this awesome turn of events. We will continue to share His grace as he has shown it to us giving a whole new meaning to “Paying it Forward.”

Every day should be "Take Jesus to Work Day"

Okay, so much for writing everyday or at the very least more than the two times I have written this month. It isn’t because Jesus and I haven’t been busy or because we haven’t had anything to share, it is simply being too wrapped in other things together that we haven’t had a moment to write and post but trust me…He is still all over our lives.

My daughter is still in California and her boyfriend’s family is being tested in situations that need prayer (and they are getting it). I could not be more bummed that Baby moved but am reminded daily why Jesus let her go on this road trip “….for such a time is this.” Esther 4:14. She is able to help this family in a way they would never ask for but, because of Him, they don’t have to. It was great to be let in on this part of His plan this week and to share with the mom of this family…a bit of comfort in knowing they are not alone and despite never meeting, they are part of our family…tied together by our children. My husband is still unemployed but Jesus is giving us glimpses of His plan for us with each phone call, email, interview, or JobShop. Friends are being called for references and his diligence is unwavering. My husband is truly living the “Faith and Footwork” promise we made to Him for this year and I know that we will be let in on the full part of the employment plan he has for us soon. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,” declares the LORD….” Jeremiah 29:11-14

As my husband was at an all day JobShop offered by our church, I “went to work” in my library/office; just me and Cardboard Jesus. I have been blessed to sew journal covers and scripture sleeves for an upcoming Women’s Conference that a fellow Lyla is presenting at next weekend. She has asked me to bring my ministry to the women attending that conference so they may have to opportunity to purchase something as a “marker” of the importance of the event or what they have gotten out of it. “She seeks wool and flax, and works with willing hands.”  Proverbs 31:13 (I don’t work with wool and flax but fabric. It just means that she is skilled in working with textiles to provide for the clothing needs of her household….. I can do that.) “She perceives that her merchandise is profitable, Her lamp does not go out at night.”  Proverbs 31:18 (Profitable indicates that she is able to realize economic gain from the diligence of her labor, which she uses to purchase a field and provide for her household. I am not looking to purchase a field anytime soon but helping to provide for my household while my husband is looking for work, is a great thing … simply by using my sewing machine from mom and my skills given to me by Him. My lamp does go out at night although some days it goes out a little later than others so I can meet my self-appointed quota for the day in order to make more products to sell at this conference or others; or craft shows at churches, etc.)   “She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.”  Proverbs 31:24 (This indicates skill in creating clothing of beauty and value. Such activity exemplifies a high degree of entrepreneurial skill and responsibility in making financial decisions and undertaking commercial activity. Wow…. I like to think that when Jesus and I are working in my library/office that we put out things of beauty with His word on them, that people want. Everything I do is for Him and he is giving me these opportunities to not just make this a “hobby” ministry but one that can sustain our family a bit while getting His word out there.)

During the Christmas services at our church, our pastor told a story. Two men pass in the hallway of a church; two men than have worked together for 10+ years. They both have this look as they approach each other and say “Hey, Tom, how’s it going? Wow… I didn’t know you went here.” The other replies “Yeah, awesome. So, you’re one of “us”, huh? I had NO idea.”

Can you imagine? Working with someone that long and not only did they not know that you were at the same church (which would be easy since our church is pretty big) BUT, they didn’t know that either were a Christian. Our pastor said that if your life is truly transformed and you have been changed IN HIM….you won’t have to tell a single person. They will know it by the way that you act and present yourself. Hence… I think that EVERYDAY should be “Take Jesus to Work Day.” Granted, it would be easier if everyone had their own personal Savior (Cardboard Jesus…like I do) but that isn’t what it is about. I know that people in my life KNOW that I have changed and been transformed because of the way I act and present myself. I don’t have to drag my Cardboard Cut-Out with me as proof. If we all had Jesus with us in our hearts and “took Him to work with us” everyday, imagine the lives that could be touched and possibly changed by simple actions; Christian actions, us being more like Him.

First I was the girl that was transparent in bible study; spilling her “stuff” out on the second week. Telling my story and where I came from just to give them a glimpse of what Jesus has done for me in my life. The result: Others following suit, being bold and telling their “stuff,” knowing that what “Happened in Bible Study….stayed in Bible Study.” A group of 10ish women bonding through the study (The Sacred Echo) but finding more than that in friendships, stronger relationships with Him….and each other. Now, secondly…since being home from California, I am the girl that is not just transparent but “silly” in a way. My relationship with Jesus is personal. More personal than I ever imagined and one I could not be more thankful for. My friends know that I am the one that talks to him like he is my imaginary friend, the one that I ask advice from, talk with as if he is in the room…no matter where that room is. I have never been one that is great at “praying” but He and I have THE best conversations ever because He listens.

When my husband and friends asked how this relationship evolved to what it is today, it sounds almost sad in its explanation, but I say simply… “I was lonely.” I had a lot of time to myself when in California and no matter how much my friends and family in Michigan connected with me…it just seemed like it wasn’t enough and I was missing out. I turned to the Word…His word. I found “friends” by reading the bible. It was like reading a novel and being sucked in, having these stories and letters become stories about people I passed on the street and letters that Paul wrote to me. (It is a bit like “The Bachelor” in that I know he was “talking” to others and forming relationships with other people but in my mind….it was all about me; advice that he was giving to me to pass along to others, and I couldn’t get enough).

But, my Lylas love me anyway…maybe even more since I have returned than before I left…if that is possible. And I know that I have come to be closer to them since my return and I can’t help but think it is all HIM and because WE are closer. Sure, I am the transparent, silly Lyla. I am the one that says it’s okay to talk about Jesus like you really had coffee with him that morning or you talked with him about a specific situation and “You know what Jesus had to say?  Oh my gosh…let me tell you.”

You don’t have to have a 6’2” Cardboard Jesus like I do, in order to take him to work with you; or to take him along to a hockey game like we just went to last night. He is with us always and others will see Him in us, no matter where we are…if we are truly transformed in Him and want to be more like him. My good friend Paul says it more perfectly than I could ever attempt….

“Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained. Join with others in following my example, brothers, and take note of those who live according to the pattern we gave you. For, as I have often told you before and now say again even with tears, many live as enemies of the cross of Christ. Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach, and their glory is in their shame. Their mind is on earthly things. But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body. Therefore, my brothers, you whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, that is how you should stand firm in the Lord, dear friends!” Philippians 3:12-4:1

Now… I want to share links of a couple of my Lylas that DO take Jesus to work with them because they are His entrepreneurs and do His will every time they put together a talk or piece of jewelry in His name or write about Him for others to see his awesome will in their lives through their devotions.

Shameless plugs for the work we do in Jesus because He rocks and we can’t help but share that.

My ministry for bible covers, scripture sleeves, and ideas we chat about while Jesus and I work together. (My website is still a work in progress….but so am I. I promise to have it functioning by the end of the week and look forward to any feedback you have to give.)

http://www.watercolorministries.com/

Lynnette and her amazing insight into jewelry and His word. I would love to be more like her when I grow up and thank Jesus for the friendship that he brought to me in her every day. And you know what? He NEVER gets tired of hearing it OR about her when we chat over coffee.

http://www.gemsfromhiscrown.com/

http://www.wellspringoflivingwater.blogspot.com/

Heather and the gift she has for wanting to show other women the vision He has given her for their lives and the encouragement she extends to others on their path to find their destiny He always intended for them; through her blog and through her ministry at HBMinistries.

http://www.heatherbaxterblog.blogspot.com/

http://www.heatherbaxter.com/

Hanging out with Britt, Lincoln, Matthew....and Jesus

….and Lynnette and Heather; to round out my week.  This has been an exhausting, productive, inspiring, and amazing week. During my “Coffee with Jesus” time on more than one occasion, I scolded myself for not writing more. I feel guilty and selfish for not sharing all that He has done for me lately; the good, the bad, the reminders, the praises, the time, and the friends. The tagline scripture in the banner of my blog should be a constant reminder …. “Be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have.” 1Peter 3:15. I am not only prepared but welcome any opportunity (or make my own) to let people know where the joy in my heart comes from…even when, to others in the world, I have every reason to not be joyful. Oh, if only they knew. Hey…they can because I can’t keep quiet about it; until recently. I have no reason for not writing more often and have pinky promised with my new Cardboard Jesus that the writing will be much more frequent and I will not just share His praises with those I see, but those that will “SEE” Him in me by writing this blog.

First the exhausting and productive parts. I was elated to begin volunteering at my church again this week. You are now “looking at” the self-proclaimed Vacuum Queen of Northridge Church. I get to don my cape and grab the super powered German machine three days a week for four hours each day (and still not get it all done). I am embarrassed to admit that after vacuuming six hours straight on Monday that Monday night left me sore and unable to move from my couch that greeted me at the top of my entryway stairs. I couldn’t believe how physically drained I was but laid there with a smile on my face. Throughout my vacuuming I was encouraged in Him via my pink headphones attached to my pink iTouch; my good friends Britt (Nicole), Lincoln (Brewster), and Matthew (West) singing His praises literally ….as loud as my musical machine would go. I was thankful that the din of the vacuum drowned out just how loud it was as people passed me in the hallways with a smile and/or a wave.

I started my day with Britt blaring in both ears. To think I didn’t even “know” her until a couple months ago when Janet shared a song that “was so me.” She told me that she thought of me when hearing it and had to share how she saw me and give me hope to never stop sharing my story or what He has done for me because that’s “…How the Lost get Found.”

Don't let your lights go down, Don't let your fire burn out....'cause somewhere, somebody needs a reason to believe. Why don't you rise up now? Don't be afraid to stand out. That's how the lost get found. The lost get found.

I think all of us hear music and are inspired or reminded, blessed and touched, or just made happier; especially anything that has to do with Him….at least that is how I see it. After Britt sang I played Matthew and loved being taken in by his praises to Jesus; stories put to music to make our relationships even more real than they already are. My husband and I have a song that is “our song” and when I hear others I am reminded of one friend or another. But…if I were asked to pick just one song that was mine and Jesus’ song I could never pick just one. I probably have three or four just from my good friend Matthew. This week it was “You Are Everything.” This is the song that brings me back to my testimony shared at church where I met Janet for the first time.

I’m the one with big mistakes, big regrets - And bigger breaks than I’d ever care to confess.  Oh, but You’re the one who looks at me and sees what I was meant to be...more than just a beautiful mess.

You are everything that I live for....Everything that I can't believe is happening - You're standing right in front of me with arms wide open - All I know is everyday is filled with hope.

Then I ended my day, for the last hour, I vacuumed happily and joy filled to the same song. Lincoln singing “Today is the Day.” THIS was the song that if I were forced to pick just ONE….would be in the top five. This is how I feel for Him everyday, no matter the situation. I wake up singing this to Him and live it to the fullest. But, regardless of how many times I have heard and sang this song…Today WAS the Day.

I'm casting my cares aside. I'm leaving my past behind. I'm setting my heart and mind on you....Jesus. I'm reaching my hand to yours. Believing there's so much more. Knowing that all you have in store for me is good. - Today is the day you have made. I will rejoice and be glad in it....and I won’t worry about tomorrow. I’m trusting in what you say - Today is the day.

Today was the day that my heart sang to Him even if my lips weren’t moving and sound did not escape my mouth. Because for some reason I thought of Him like I hadn’t before. I truly believe that there is a party in Heaven every time someone repents and finds their own relationship with Jesus and I know that there is singing going on and arms wide open each time someone “comes back to Him.” BUT today I wondered… does He sing for us as we do for Him? Of course He does. At least that is how I saw Jesus today. Instead of me hearing a song and saying to myself “Yeah, that is totally something I would, and do, sing to Him.” I imagined Jesus singing it about me; about us. Him singing to me “This is how the lost get found” or Jesus telling me “You are my everything” and definitely Him reminding me every day that “Today is the Day” that He made and gave to me to do His work for His glory and tell anyone that will listen.

The inspiring and amazing parts of my week are the ones I never get tired of but feel blessed and surprised each time I think about them; my family and my friends. Everything is in His timing and it seems to take forever when I am constantly just sitting and waiting for an answer to this prayer or that one but…every once in a while I have glimpses of what he needs from me; to be patient and satisfied with knowing He has it all under control. AND it is sooo much better to be surprised when the UPS truck shows up outside with a brightly colored, wrapped present from Him than to be waiting on the porch, anxious for every truck sound that rounds the corner….expecting something that may or may not come. I waited for two years for a hopeful, renewed relationship with my oldest daughter and I had given up hope more than once until one day….there it was; my brightly colored package in the form of an email and then another, and another. It was like Christmas, my birthday, and Mother’s Day ALL rolled into one and it is a gift I cherish with each email I receive from her. I love that He gave this gift to me and in finding me, has given a gift to my mom as well. THAT is the true Circle of Life and one I am very grateful for.

The friends he has given me are incredible and inspiring and are cheerleaders in their own rite. There are many examples of friendships throughout the bible and He leaves it up to us to find the friendship we most want to emulate…and that goes beyond the kind of relationship we have with Him but to one we are encouraged to have with others. I am blessed to have many friends but the friendship I am most blessed to have is one with Lynnette. She is my Barnabas and one that is Barnabas to others as well. Let me back up just a bit….

When I went to my first bible study at Northridge Church I was anxious about the kind of people that Jesus would put in my path. I hadn’t been to a bible study before, and being a new Christian, could only imagine what the others in the study would be like. I worried they were closer to God because they had been Christians longer. I didn’t think I would fit in because I had a sketchy past to be rescued from and couldn’t possibly imagine others from a church with that kind of story. Lynnette sat beside me and in her quiet acceptance, welcomed me not only to the church and study, but to be her friend outside of that setting.

It is no secret that I have a crush on the apostle Paul. Aside from being completely smitten by everything he and Jesus says, I use him as an example of what I want my life to be like; finding joy in the strangest of places and encouraging others to find that joy and live it as I try to. One of my favorite books is by Beth Moore: “To Live Is Christ” and it is ALL about Paul. She writes:

“God had issued Saul an undeniable apostolic calling. He probably assumed his place was with the other apostles. But when he arrived in Jerusalem and tried to associate with them, “they were all afraid of him, since they did not believe he was a disciple.” (Acts 9:26)

Two wonderful words begin the next verse: “But Barnabas.” Without a doubt Barnabas was a hero. Few things touch my heart more than Christian men who risk vulnerability in obedience to Christ. Barnabas reached out a helping hand to a discouraged man. Saul took that hand. Two lives bonded n that moment.

God use Barnabas to give others the courage to be the people He had called before the other apostles, they may have remembered how each of them had been the focus of his encouragement at one time or another. Now he encouraged them to accept a new brother.

Many probably criticized Barnabas for being gullible concerning Saul. Barnabas was willing to give people a chance even when others weren’t. Let’s look for ways to be a Barnabas in another’s life.

“I have great joy and encouragement from your love, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you.” Philemon 7”

Just as Paul had his own writing style and spoke from his heart encouraging others and telling anyone who would listen…what kind of person Barnabas was, it is only fitting that I try and emulate by showing everyone the kind of friend I have in Lynnette. No…it wasn’t as dramatic a scenario as Paul and Barnabas encountered but I did wonder if Lynnette’s husband would think she was crazy for wanting to befriend “someone like me.” But… in that moment and in many that have followed, Jesus bonded two lives for which I am eternally grateful. I only hope that I can give her the same encouragement in what she encounters and be a cheerleader for her as she is for the other “Lylas” we are blessed to cross paths with.  “We have different gifts, according to the grace given us. If a man’s gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage, if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully.” Romans 12:6-8

This has truly been a week of things that others may not be joyful about; my husband is still unemployed and my youngest still moved 2500 miles away. There are still more bills than income and the glass vase near our door is getting filled with worries we give to Him because they are out of our control. But, no matter what happens in my life… I am forever reminded through friends, family, the bible, books, and music that He has been there and will continue to be there no matter what happens. We just need to put our faith in Him and know that he will provide. We are not alone but have Him and those he gives to us. “And my God will meet all your needs according to his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:19

Going For a Boat Ride...."You Comin' Jesus?"

Part of realizing your destiny is knowing how to constantly be making progress. Progress requires going through lots of things that may be uncertain to us while doing it but, in hindsight, we know it was what had to happen; as we come out of the old and into the new person we are becoming.

Everyone thinks that there has to be some life-changing transformation when you become a Christian….and for some of us that is true. BUT, there are others that just know they want a relationship with Him and want to be part of something bigger than themselves. I went to a church service recently where our pastor talked briefly of transformations and how, if we are truly transformed, it should be noticeable to everyone. The excitement we feel, the joy we experience, the grace given to us and want to share with others; a true “Cheerleader for Jesus.”

John 6:15-21 tells of a story where the disciples were crossing the Sea of Galilee on their way to Capernaum. Any crossing from one place to another requires a transition that begins with an ending and ends with a new beginning. Leaving the shore represented an ending, catapulting the disciples into a transition – that limbo period between the ending and a new beginning. Limbo….just like the boat at sea. The disciples weren’t where they started and they hadn’t made it to where they were going. They had been cut loose to cross the Sea of Galilee and were vulnerable to the elements. The wind came up and they were even more unstable, threatening to capsize their boat; never getting them to their new destination.

I think; more dramatic than the transformations….are the series of transitions that we go through and what becomes of us because of them; or in spite of them. Before I was a Christian, when something would go wrong I would wonder: “If there is a God, how can he allow something like this to happen?” ….Having breast cancer at the age of 30 with three small daughters and a precarious marriage. I blamed God for that and “to show him”… I refused any kind of relationship with him for a long time. Then when I was a Christian and things wouldn’t go as I hoped they would (because let’s face it… just having a relationship with Jesus doesn’t make our lives all peaches, even though that would be pretty great), I say things like “Satan is really working overtime these days.”

But…in reading this passage from John, I realized that I was giving Satan too much credit.

The story goes on….

“A strong wind was blowing and waters grew rough. When they had rowed three or three and a half miles, they saw Jesus approaching the boat, walking on the water; and they were terrified. But he said to them, “It is I; don’t be afraid.” Then they were willing to take him into the boat, and immediately the boat reached the shore where they were heading.” John 6:18-21

In that unstable place, the disciples were confronted with contrary winds that threatened to capsize their boat and keep them from arriving at their destination. “Contrary” means antagonistic, against, or opposing. The wind was trying to keep the disciples from reaching their destiny.

In the middle of everything the disciples faced, Jesus came to them. They didn’t recognize him at first and were hesitant in asking him into the boat; just as I put him off so many times before the BIG transformation. But…when they did recognize him and they let him into the boat….it was a decision that saved their lives and allowed them to get to the new place that God intended. If God sent them, then he was also committed to their destiny and would release all of the resources necessary for them to get to the other side. When God directs us in a way that leads us into transition, He has already committed Himself to come to us when we reach unstable waters.

Since having Jesus as my BFF, I have had LOTS of contrary things come my way and I realize that my story is so much more than my transformation. My story is one that is lived everyday in the transitions that are put in my path; not giving Satan the credit but knowing that God is putting me to a test of faith as he did the disciples that night crossing the Sea of Galilee. Satan has nothing to do with any part of my transitions I live through now. The peaches and the peas of my life are only driven by Jesus and I will do my best to walk with the faith that is expected of me.

No….I guess this isn’t the typical “Welcome to the New Year” blog. But it was definitely one put on my heart by the one that matters….Jesus. My husband found out that his position was no longer needed just two days before Christmas. My youngest daughter I welcomed home just a few months ago, has decided that she wants to move back to California and leaves on Friday; less than two weeks after she told us the news. My middle daughter had car troubles and didn’t get to come home this Christmas after all. The amount of our bills outnumber the amount of our income. But in the middle of this “contrary” time… my oldest daughter responded to one of my countless emails I sent just last week and we are now emailing back and forth, sometimes twice a day; and we haven’t spoken in two years.

Jesus got into my boat back in October of 2009 but that was just the beginning. Without the relationship that I have with him, the everyday transitions that are part of my life, would go unanswered; worried about, and stressed over. The clear glass vase that we had by our door to leave our troubles in over the holiday; is still there. We decided to leave it there and continue to fill it with things we can’t control but know He can.

2011 is a year of Faith and Footwork. We have faith in Him to get us through our “Sea of Galilee” trip no matter how many waves come crashing into our boat. God has given us the resources to handle whatever comes our way. When my husband was unemployed last time, it was seventeen months. We had just accepted Christ as our savior but had no idea what that meant or what to do next. Those resources?? Yeah. We have friends; a lot of them. We have a church family that is like no other. We have bible studies and small groups. We have a prayer network and we have Jesus…in our boat. We have faith in Him and want to show him the faith we are going to live by. The footwork part? That’s easy. We will apply for the jobs, fill our vessels in church and bible study and small groups. We will volunteer at church in whatever capacity is needed (I start vacuuming again next Monday…. and can’t wait). We will NOT sit idly by and dwell on our circumstances because we know that He has gotten us through things before with a lot less faith and a lot less friends and resources; imagine what He can do now. Woohoo.

This isn’t a New Year’s Resolution but a pinky promise to show others what he is capable of. A real life “Oh yeah… well look what Jesus did for me today” moment.

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows.”  2Corinthians 1:3-5

Had to throw a scripture from Paul in there because it was so appropriate and....it is Paul…lol.