Circle of Friends; Coffee with Lynnette and Jesus (Episode 1 of 2)

This is what happens when two Lylas get together to discuss friendship; specifically as it relates to each other and generally as it relates to all those we have known and have yet to know; sitting around a dining room table with devotionals, books about friendship in Him, our bibles, coffee, and Jesus taking the third of four seats.

Thank you Lynnette for being my Number 5.  =D

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We all have a circle of friends. Some have been around a life time, others have been around for what seems like minutes. C.S. Lewis said, “Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather is one of those things that give value to survival." Friends are not necessary for living, but they make living so much sweeter. Our friends, enrich our lives, they pick us up when we are down and they expect the best from us.

Jesus had a circle of friends. He is a great teacher and we can learn from his friendships.

Within our circle of friends, at level 1, these are the strangers. These are the people we may never see again. Our lives intersect only for an instant. We don’t know them and they don’t know us. We may never know the impact we have on their life, but there is the potential to change them forever. We may be the only Christ this person ever sees. This stranger may never set foot in a church and we must represent Him well.

Jesus impacted many strangers.

Luke 6:6-11 On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, “Get up and stand in front of everyone.” So he got up and stood there.

Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?”

He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did so, and his hand was completely restored. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.

Jesus always represented His Father well. He did the right thing, even at his own expense.

Within the Friendship Circle, at Level 2, we have acquaintances. These are people that we happen to know from various places. Perhaps we sit near them at church, or we see them when we check in at the dentist office. We may know their faces and names, but we don’t share any personal information.We usually see these people by coincidence, not because we plan to see them.

There were people who had heard about Jesus and his ability to heal.

John 4:43-54  After the two days he left for Galilee. (Now Jesus himself had pointed out that a prophet has no honor in his own country.) When he arrived in Galilee, the Galileans welcomed him. They had seen all that he had done in Jerusalem at the Passover Festival, for they also had been there.

 Once more he visited Cana in Galilee, where he had turned the water into wine. And there was a certain royal official whose son lay sick at Capernaum. When this man heard that Jesus had arrived in Galilee from Judea, he went to him and begged him to come and heal his son, who was close to death.

“Unless you people see signs and wonders,” Jesus told him, “you will never believe.” The royal official said, “Sir, come down before my child dies.” 

“Go,” Jesus replied, “your son will live.”

This royal official didn’t want to know Jesus, he only wanted what Jesus could do for him.

In our circle, Level 1 and 2 are in the Comfort Zone. There is nothing scary about Level 1 and 2 friends. We never actually have to give anything of ourselves to these friends. The relationships are superficial at best.

At Level 3, we move into the Sharing Zone. Within this zone, there is give and take in the relationships. In order to move to level 3, we have to begin sharing and giving ourselves.

Level 3, is our Peers. These are the people we see on a regular basis. We often have something in common with these people, maybe working in the same office, maybe our kids play on the same team. We have a bond with these people and we see them more often because of our common work, activities or lifestyles, not because of a specific plan to meet.

There were people who had religion in common with Jesus.

Luke 2: 41-47 Every year Jesus’ parents went to Jerusalem for the Festival of the Passover. When he was twelve years old, they went up to the festival, according to the custom. After the festival was over, while his parents were returning home, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but they were unaware of it. Thinking he was in their company, they traveled on for a day. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.

The people in the courts were beginning to know Jesus. They shared a common interest that gave them a peek into one another’s lives.

Level 4, are friends. These are people who we know and care about. This group may consist of parents, siblings, Bible study or small group members. There is sincere sharing of ourselves and our stories, but not complete exposure of our true selves.

Jesus had the disciples, but He also had Mary, Martha and Lazarus, whom he considered friends.

John 11: 1-5 Now a man named Lazarus was sick. He was from Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister Martha. (This Mary, whose brother Lazarus now lay sick, was the same one who poured perfume on the Lord and wiped his feet with her hair.) So the sisters sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick.”

When he heard this, Jesus said, “This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God’s glory so that God’s Son may be glorified through it.” Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus.

Jesus had a history with Mary, Martha and Lazarus. He loved them. They probably prayed together and we know from scripture they ate together. But they probably were not aware of Jesus’ true inner feelings and his plans.

Finally, we get to Level 5, our Companions. These are the few people who know all about us and love us anyway. They accept us in spite of our failures. They call us out privately and say, “I’m still on your side, but that wasn’t the best choice”. They love us enough to ask the tough questions, to keep us honest and encourage us to keep trying. They never give up on us. They cry with us. They lift us up. They hear us. They are the ones who will lay down their lives, and put things on hold, when we need them most. But, we have to be willing to do the same for them.

Jesus was surrounded by people, but there were three he chose as His companions.

Matthew 26:36-46 Then Jesus went with his disciples to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to them, “Sit here while I go over there and pray.” He took Peter and the two sons of Zebedee (James and John) along with him, and he began to be sorrowful and troubled. Then he said to them, “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me.”

Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.”

Then he returned to his disciples and found them sleeping. “Couldn’t you men keep watch with me for one hour?” he asked Peter. “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” He went away a second time and prayed, “My Father, if it is not possible for this cup to be taken away unless I drink it, may your will be done.”

When he came back, he again found them sleeping, because their eyes were heavy. So he left them and went away once more and prayed the third time, saying the same thing.

Then he returned to the disciples and said to them, “Are you still sleeping and resting? Look, the hour has come, and the Son of Man is delivered into the hands of sinners. Rise! Let us go! Here comes my betrayer!”

There is so much we can learn about a Circle of Friends from this story. First, Jesus asked his Companions for help. He knew what was coming. He needed his closest friends to keep watch and pray with him. It is not easy to ask for help, but being truthful about our needs is good for us as well as our friends. Asking for help allows our friends to minister to us in our time of need.

The second lesson we can take from Gethsemane, is to be there for a friend whenever they call. Jesus asked for help and his Companions let him down. They didn’t stay awake and pray in his most desperate final hours. This is where forgiveness comes in. Our friends are human and they will make mistakes. We forgive because we are forgiven (Eph. 4:32). When we are hurt by someone, it is easy to shut down and turn away from that person, but Jesus teaches us to forgive and to love others above all else.

The final part of the Circle of Friends and the final lesson we can take from the Garden of Gethsemane is that Jesus knew who was at his core. God. When the three Companions were sleeping, Jesus went to his ultimate friend. At that moment, his Father was the only one he could turn to. He is the only one who could provide the wisdom, strength and love that Jesus needed.

We have to be careful to seek God first in all of our relationships. We need to keep Him at our core and rely on Him for the things that only He can provide. He will guide us in all of our relationships and He will show us how to love others. He is the glue that keeps us together.

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.

A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:12

(One of my personal fave scriptures and completely perfect as a Lylas description)

Lord, I thank you for your friendship. Thank you for sending your son to teach me how to truly be a friend. I know that it will not always be easy to be friends with other people. Please help me to be kind, loving, forgiving, generous and patient. Help me to reach out of my comfort zone and connect with other people. Show me where I am looking to the wrong person for friendship and please help me love the 4’s and 5’s in my life (or bring more if needed). I know that you will always be my very best friend and no one can take your place at the center of my Circle of Friends. I love you and look forward to our future together. Amen.