One Week in Nineveh

We did it. A week ago today, we moved to Nineveh…. and the trip was far from uneventful. We pulled out of our driveway under the cover of darkness at 4am; a 22ft Penske truck driven by Robbe and Baby and I following behind with Paulie (our cocker spaniel named after my bible crush).

We were excited for this first leg of our trip despite knowing that we had 18 hours ahead of us; traffic, weather, my husband driving a HUGE moving truck for the FIRST time…. and many other variables, uncertain before us. I prayed…and I prayed. Thank goodness Jesus brought his backpack full of travel games and worry fixers with him because I most certainly wouldn’t have made it otherwise.

Let me digress for just a moment. For those of you that only know me by words and not personally, I feel it only fair to share my apprehension in driving or even riding in a car, with you. I don’t drive so the 18 hour drive ahead was left solely to my 19 year old daughter. I felt bad but not bad enough to get behind the wheel to help her. Ugh… still working on that; maybe Nineveh will help that in time but I’m still not rushing anything… having been a scaredy cat behind the wheel or even in the passenger seat for nearly two years already. Anyway… I get nervous even riding in a car on the freeway from one city to the next and now I was expected to “be okay” for 18 hours on many freeways AND following behind a big yellow truck filled with ALL of our belongings, driven by my husband whom I worried about the ENTIRE way. I know, I know…. Give my worries to Jesus. I know, I know…. I give him everything in my prayer vase but this was different. Wasn’t it? Let’s just say that this trip would be adventurous for some and maybe even fun for others but this road trip to Nineveh was not something I was looking forward to in any way. Sleeping below deck came so easy for Jonah, fully trusting the crew of a bought out ship to get him as far away from Nineveh as possible. Needless to say, sleeping on the way to Nineveh was NOT an option for me.

So, back to the journey at hand.

Baby did a great job following Robbe, who blindly followed the directions spouted out by our newly purchased GPS. We had lots of snacks and things to drink in our cars so stopping for gas was the only reason we stopped at all…and potty breaks of course. All was well through Michigan, Indiana, and even Illinois but crossing into Missouri really changed things. It began to get ugly and I don’t just mean the weather; although it was definitely a catalyst to the emotions running high in the Jeep behind the big yellow truck. It began raining and then turned into a downpour in a matter of minutes. Of course it was at the same time that traffic got congested on a five lane freeway and Robbe had to make a last minute change of lanes to an exit marking “Tulsa”, making us frantic to follow. Baby was trying to focus on the road ahead while the windshield wipers went back and forth as fast as they could. I wasn’t any help, crying in the seat beside her as Robbe and our big yellow truck pulled further ahead with cars darting between us. She snapped at me and told me to stop freaking out because it was freaking her out and that wasn’t helping anyone. I continued to sob but gulped in my tears as I sat silently beside her; holding my breath with each car changing lanes before us and trying to keep the yellow truck in our sights. It went on like this for ten minutes; quiet sobbing, windshield wipers whipping, radio off, and Baby’s hands gripped firmly on the steering wheel as she strained forward….getting any help she could muster to see through the heavy rain ahead. When it finally subsided and we caught up to Robbe, we breathed a sigh of relief, even laughing at what had just happened; a nervous laughter with hopes we were done with that kind of weather for the rest of the trip. Luckily…we were.

There were bumpy roads ahead; heat and threatening clouds, traffic that came and went and more nervous moments but NOTHING like that brought with Missouri. Missouri was a big state to drive across but the first that actually showed signs that we were on the right track to Tulsa; our final destination. We live in Owasso which is just 15 minutes outside of Tulsa so we were happy when the numbers got smaller and smaller.

We arrived at our new home just before 10pm. I told Baby as we neared, not to mention how small the apartment was or to talk about how hot it was. I am sure that Robbe has worried plenty about whether or not we would like it here in Nineveh. I even practiced it myself…the “not mentioning heat or size of our new living arrangements”. Apparently I didn’t practice long enough or hard enough.

We pull into our gated community, and before Robbe even finishes parking the big yellow truck and as Baby and I pull into another parking space, I am complaining. “This looks like a hotel. Look at the cars in the parking lot. I can’t believe how small this place looks. I feel like we are visiting someone else and am thankful that we don’t live here. Do we really live here now? This is soooo not going to be long-term despite what I said to him before.” Baby was quick to put me in check and remind me that Robbe was going to be excited to bring us home and we SHOULD NOT mention any of the things I rambled off just minutes before. I was quiet when he opened my door but my face spoke volumes; probably repeating everything I had just said without saying a word. Robbe looked sad and disappointed and yet it was not enough for me to KEEP being quiet. I told him I felt like we were at a hotel and it would take some getting used to. He said nothing. I walked slowly through an outdoor hallway and followed him up a set of stairs; still not moving very fast or looking excited to finally be living in the same state with my husband. He opened the door to our “new home” and it was everything I thought it would be; small and beige and soooo nice….for someone else. I walked around the apartment and complained about the lighting in the kitchen, the floors in the bathroom, and the placement of the laundry room; not even realizing that many apartments don’t have laundry in suite. Oops. Nope…. Still wasn’t grateful and sounding more snobby than I can even convey in this blog. Definitely not one of my finer moments but this “journal” isn’t about sharing those moments but ALL of the moments that Jesus and I face together and I am CERTAIN he was shaking his head in disgust just as Baby was….as I continued to focus on all of the negatives and not the positives; being in the same state with my husband, being obedient to what He asked of me, and the adventures that Jesus has laid out for me….here in Nineveh.  

I wish I could report that it got better but even as I fell into the one mattress that we pulled off the big yellow truck, I worried and wondered. This week I felt as if God was mixing up a bunch of bible stories and having me live a bit in each of them. This moment had me reliving my scripture that Paul shares with me often, and one I always nod to and say “Oh yeah…. Thank goodness I believe that too.” It goes a little something like this…. “I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.” Philippians 4:12

Funny how it’s easy to think you believe in that scripture when everything is going your way but not one you want to pop into your head as you go to bed worrying about square footage or the types of cars in the parking lot. I even tried to think about where I was a year ago and how grateful I was to be in the same state with my husband….my faith and strength lasted no longer than a minute and I was embarrassed to lie awake as my husband slept soundly beside me.

I woke up eager to have the movers arrive and begin unloading the truck. After a trip to Starbucks and the market that was very “Gidget friendly”, they arrived on time and ready to work. With each walk up of boxes and furniture, I felt the walls close in more and more. I was proud of myself for the packing job I did in Michigan but seeing those same boxes be brought in three and four at a time left my heart pounding and my mind reeling. I tried to unpack them as they came in the house but felt like the "I Love Lucy" episode when she works at the chocolate factory and the conveyor belt was going faster than she could pack. She was able to stuff candy into pockets and her mouth and even her hat…I started unpacking boxes but soon found I had nowhere left to unpack them to and I began to feel more than a bit overwhelmed.

I was working in the kitchen when it first happened; quickly running out of cabinet space, so I went to work in the master bedroom but couldn’t even begin to unpack boxes there since dressers and shelving hadn’t even made it in yet. The living room was futile since 40 boxes were now piled upon each other, most of which were books. Books that had to be unpacked onto bookshelves that needed to be assembled and anchored to the walls before they could be useful. AARRGGHH….

I lost it. I went into the master bedroom and just began to cry. I had a literal meltdown in the middle of moving day. When Robbe came into our room to find me there; there was no denying that I was upset and my heart and mouth just spilled out. “I’m sorry. I just can’t do this. I always pride myself in unpacking and decorating within two days of moving and I look around now and just don’t know how that will EVER happen. I open a box and try to unpack it but then realize there is nowhere to unpack it to. I move to another room and run into the same problem. This place is just TOO small. How are we ever going to make it work here? Does Jesus know just how much stuff we still have, even after selling, donating, and giving away so much before moving here?” Robbe just hugged me and told me it would be okay but I didn’t believe him. I had been trying to believe Jesus for the last month since He started saying it; to no avail.

Needless to say, the first two days in Nineveh weren’t ones I looked forward to sharing but write in hopes that it will get better.

Sunday arrived and we didn’t get to church. I was tired and quite frankly, not in the best of moods to try and meet new people. I woke up, again refreshed, with a new confidence that I could make a dent in the 90 boxes that had been unloaded into a 1,100sq foot apartment. “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 (Yeah…more Paul. As much as I love this guy, sometimes he just won’t be quiet when I really need to be alone for my pity parties) Funny how this scripture just follows the one I couldn’t get out of my head the night before. “Gee, thanks Paul. I get it.”

Things were good. Boxes began getting unpacked and I even thought the apartment was looking bigger as I started to see parts of the floor and not just another moving box under the last one unpacked. Robbe anchored the bookshelves to the wall, more boxes got unpacked, and it felt more like home as my books found their ways to the empty shelves that screamed for them. Maybe I could do this after all.

Robbe went to work on Monday and Tuesday and then the rains came; lots of it. Nineveh hasn’t had rain in nearly a year and our first week had four days of it. Thunderstorms and lightning along with continuous rain and downpours. These Ninevites must have been wondering what the heck was going on while I looked outside of my very small, beige abode….giggling to myself as I thought that God really must have me mixed up in more than one bible story. I was beginning to wonder if I was to build an ark like Noah in Genesis 6 – 9 or if I was supposed to prepare for crossing the lake to Capernaum like the disciples in John 6:16-24. I even thought of my good friend Jabez again this week; when I asked God to expand my territories and He did just that by moving us a couple of years ago to Plymouth, MI. I guess he decided they needed further expanding despite not continuing to pray this prayer found in 1Chronicles 4:10. Here I thought I was just living out the life of the reluctant apostle Jonah by traveling to Nineveh and now I felt awash with many other stories of trials and faith that He directed me to in the bible. For anyone that thinks the bible isn’t relevant today…please read a few of these stories I mention above for proof of the EXACT opposite. Oh how I long for the days of just relating to my bible crush Paul and being happy about where I was then and there. I am definitely in uncharted waters now and instead of becoming more clear to me, it only seems to get murkier and murkier.

My first week in Nineveh has been one of fear and faith; more of one than the other I’m afraid. I will let you guess which is which. I have turned to my bible a lot this week and perhaps that is just the way Jesus wants it too; anything to make a point. He is a sneaky one and ALWAYS persistent; gotta like that in a guy. (I know I do just because it took me twelve years to come around in the first place so I am sure He knows I will get there soon enough….even in Nineveh).

The small bouts of interaction with the Ninevites has been pleasant enough but I have still not come around to Jesus’ way of thinking just yet. I know that I am a work in progress and have the best of intentions, even if those intentions are a bit slow in materializing.

We are going to a new church this weekend. It is one that Robbe has been attending for the last five months. I feel like I am being dragged there a bit since I have already spoken to several at the church and know they offer no small groups, bible studies, or women’s ministry opportunities. I want it all since I had that in my last church in Michigan. I will try to go there with an open mind and an open heart but I know I need to pray for Him to change my heart and mind to be that way; not comparing what He has brought me from to what He has brought me to. No matter what He has done for me to this point, I have still found a way to complain and drag my feet. It seems like the more I try to be LESS like Jonah, the more I follow in his footsteps. If only there was chapter 5 in Jonah so I could see what happens next and if Jonah was able to redeem himself; I like to believe that he did.

Jonah 4

“But Jonah was greatly displeased and became angry. He prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live.”

But the Lord replied, “Have you any right to be angry?”

Jonah went out and sat down at a place east of the city. There he made himself a shelter, sat in its shade and waited to see what would happen to the city. Then the Lord God provided a vine and made it grow up over Jonah to give shade for his head to ease his discomfort, and Jonah was very happy about the vine. But at dawn the next day God provided a worm, which chewed the vine so that it withered. When the sun rose, God provided a scorching east wind, and the sun blazed on Jonah’s head so that he grew faint. He wanted to die, and said, “It would be better for me to die than to live.”

But God said to Jonah, “Do you have a right to be angry about the vine?”

“I do,” he said. “I am angry enough to die.”

But the Lord said, “You have been concerned about this vine, though you did not tend it or make it grow. It sprang up overnight and died overnight. But Nineveh has more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who cannot tell their right hand from their left and many cattle as well. Should I not be concerned about that great city?”

I guess I, too, have no right to be angry about the things that are happening around me but need to know that God is doing his thing and He doesn’t need me to help in any way. He has a plan for me and everything is happening for a reason. Perhaps Jesus told him I needed a lesson in humility and even my small cottage in Plymouth was bigger than I needed. Living in Nineveh in a smaller, hotter, beiger place is just what I need as my surroundings to do what He has planned for me next.

I only wish that patience was something I was better at.

“…being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you have great endurance and patience, and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.” Colossians 1:11-12”