I grew up competitive and it stuck with me; even through becoming a Christian. Jesus knows that I am no longer cutthroat, malicious, or conniving in my methods but comparing was something I did for a long time. I think being competitive and comparing were two of my Top Ten faults; dishonest, addicted, judgmental, vindictive, and just mean- spirited…. to name a few more.
I was constantly comparing myself to others. First Grade… someone had higher ponytails than me but I had awesome homemade crocheted ribbons in multiple colors (Thanks Mom). Sixth Grade… many pretty girls in my class that looked much older than they were; I wore glasses and big pink clip on earrings (in my defense, it was 1980.) Tenth Grade… I was faster in cross country that she was; but she was a cheerleader and much more popular. (I love that I was just a late bloomer and am the self-proclaimed Captain of the Cheerleader for Jesus squad now.)
Lysa gave the example of an exercise class comparison….. “I was in exercise class one day when the gal next to me leaned over and shared concerns about her sister’s increasing weight. I was half listening and half straining to lift my aching legs when she quipped, “I mean, my sister now weighs like 150 pounds!” I didn’t know whether to laugh out loud or keep silent, because the number that horrified her was the exact number I saw that very morning on my scale!”
Let’s face it… my GOAL WEIGHT isn’t even close to 150 pounds; I am being realistic at 175 and will be ecstatic to see 200. Talk about a conversation being relative to those it involves, huh? I can’t even imagine that Weight Watchers says that someone of my height (I’m 5’9” in bare feet and nearly 6’ with heels on...which isn’t often) should weigh between 145 – 160 pounds. YIKES. The last time I felt pretty good about myself was probably ten years ago; I was 175 pounds and a size 14. I felt comfortable. I was active. And I even wore a bathing suit in front of people….now I don’t even put on shorts or skirts higher than the knees.
Flashback to the “Mean Gidget” days…. Also known as the PJ Era (Pre-Jesus)…. Even being the chunky girl (265 pounds at my heaviest), I would compare myself to others. It would start off in a negative way; me comparing to the skinny twenty-somethings that could not only wear anything they wanted and look good…they were eating and drinking anything they wanted without compromise. But, I was pretty good at the “Art of Comparison” and it wouldn’t take me long to find someone that was chunkier than me or I thought I looked better than; either hair, makeup job, clothes, or accessories. Guess who I immediately would try to befriend…. Yep; me and the chunky wallflower with bad shoes would be best friends within twenty minutes. I’m not proud of the person I was but I mention it simply because Jesus picked me anyway. He walked into a room and out of everyone else He could have come to….He came to me. Whew. (Only now…. many years later, I wonder; was I picked by others in a room for the very same reason? Was I the chunkier girl that made them feel better about themselves?)
Ugh…. My heart hurts a little.
I don’t make comparisons anymore, although I admit to still being a bit competitive at times. Jesus says that friendly competition is okay but he raises an eyebrow at me anytime I get too close to crossing the line.
One thing I have learned since becoming Captain of the Cheerleading for Jesus squad is that in Him we are created anew. Not just in our hearts but the outside too. He changes us so that others can see what He is capable of. The only comparing we need to do is to him and the example he set for us. It isn’t about the numbers on the scale or what size jeans I put on this morning (although he did say my smaller ones look better).
The Art of Comparison is only to Him. I can remember that. I need to live it.
Today, Kathy and I met for our “Made to Crave” study and DVD session. The best part by far was the section based upon (of course) the words of Paul. In the participation guide Lysa says:
The statements below define the truth of your identity as a child of God. As you read each statement, write your name in the space provided.
_______________ ,the forgiven child of God. (Romans 3:24)
_______________ ,the set-free child of God. (Romans 8:1-2)
_______________ ,the accepted child of God. (1Corinthians 1:2)
_______________ ,the holy child of God. (1Corinthians 1:30)
_______________, the made-new child of God. (2Corinthians 5:17)
_______________, the loved child of God. (Ephesians 1:4)
_______________, the close child of God. (Ephesians 2:13)
_______________, the confident child of God. (Ephesians 3:12)
_______________, the victorious child of God. (Romans 8:37)
“Which of the identity truths above is the hardest for you to believe wholeheartedly? Why do you struggle with this one?”
Wow.... I couldn't pick just one, that's for sure.
I am reminded that there is no need to compare myself to anyone because I am….. the forgiven, set-free, accepted, holy child, made-new, loved, close, confident, and victorious child of God.
Would God want any of children behaving that way?
Yeah… I didn’t think so either.
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