Day Nine: Step Away.....from the Peanut Butter

Many people lose weight to transform their lives. I shudder to think of all the “Before” and “After” pictures out there; the “After’s” inevitably being blonder and more tan. Because we live in a word that leads us to believe that if we are thinner we will be happier, get better jobs, always find the closest parking spot at the mall, and never have to worry about our bank accounts. Just like blondes can tell blonde jokes without offending each other (common knowledge for those of us that were born blonde); I can speak of the thinner must be better because I used to have the same mentality.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m tired of being the chunky girl for many reasons but I no longer think that losing weight is going to make me a better person and wash away my worries. The transformation for me began two years ago…from the inside and is working its way to the outside now. I have a history of doing everything to excess; multiple college degrees, over indulgent lifestyles, parties four nights a week, and having just one goal… to be the center of attention no matter where I was; even at my biggest weight of 265. Self-control was never something I was accused of having but I thought I was living a good life and wasn’t looking for any control of any kind from anyone.

Lysa talked about self-control in her devotion today and it had to passed along. “Self- control is hard. We don’t like to deny ourselves. We don’t think it’s necessary. We make excuses and declare, “That’s nice for someone else, but I could never give up _________________!” (fill in the blank, soda, sugar, cupcakes, smoking….)”

The first time I really surrendered to Him was my unwillingness to admit I had a problem with alcohol. The writing was on the wall several times in the last few years before crying “Uncle.” But when the choice was mine to give it up… I didn’t. Sure, I could take a few weeks off here and there but when I went back to my over indulgent ways, it was worse than the time before. It is no secret to my friends that it took a DUI in November of 2008 to turn my life around; the fact that it was just days before Thanksgiving was all the more ironic since I have done nothing but give thanks ever since. I even spoke the words she mentioned at an A.A. meeting, telling a room full of strangers “This is nice for you guys but not something I need. I am glad that “you people” have somewhere to go.”  Not one of my best moments. Needless to say surrendering was the furthest from my mind at that point.

We don’t give things up when they are ours to give, however….when they are taken from us in whatever circumstance, we learn to live without them and begin to see what is truly important. Getting that DUI humbled me beyond anything I had ever experienced but a year later I finally accepted a relationship with Jesus. (Who am I kidding… when I finally got the nerve to humble myself, I practically begged Him to come into my heart and give me a new start).

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will know what God wants you to do and you will know how good and pleasing and perfect his will really is.” Romans 12:2

…..Changing the way you think.

Transformation isn’t about how much we weigh or what we will wear in our “Before” and “After” pictures but letting God transform us into a new person. However, He created us in his image and I am certain that he wouldn’t be happy about being out of breath as often I am, living in a three story condo.

Last week I counted gummy bears and snuck more than a couple spoonfuls of peanut butter; not at one time of course, but passing the pantry at least a tablespoon worth a day ….and still managed to lose 3.6 pounds at my weigh in yesterday; just another gift from Him, but...hey, I did do some of the footwork by hitting the gym.....just sayin'.

This week I am going to give my cravings to Him instead of giving in to them. This isn’t about the “Before” and “After” picture but remembering the before and wanting to give Him my Happily Ever After.