Before starting the “Made to Crave” bible study and subsequently the 21 Day Challenge, much like Lysa (the author of the study I have referred to for 18 days prior to this one) admitted “I have never craved a carrot stick.” I had to nod my head and raise a hand to the heavens when I saw/heard this on her DVD. “Amen sista”.
But, nineteen days into this program, I do find myself craving carrot sticks and let me tell you why. I feel like I am cheating a bit. It is the act of eating one mini carrot stick after another; hand to mouth action. I have never been a smoker but have known a few that have…and quit. They needed to do something to keep their fingers and mouths busy, to replace the act of smoking. I feel like carrot sticks do the same for me. No, it isn’t movie theater popcorn with butter in the middle and on top. And it isn’t quite as “indulging” as the spoonful after spoonful of my Chunky Monkey Ben and Jerry’s ice cream that I love so much. But it is the act of making me feel like I am getting something… one bite at a time.
Hmmmm…. the act of making me feel like I am getting something.
How many times in my life have I pretended that what I had was just as good as what I was missing? How often did I want to ask Jesus for a relationship with him but didn’t feel worthy?
“Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” 1 Corinthians 10:23
Just because God gave us the power to choose for ourselves doesn’t mean that we use that power for good and not evil. When I made decisions for myself…by myself…the result wasn’t good. I did things that were self-gratifying with no thoughts of how it would affect others directly or indirectly. Everything was permissible and I felt everything was beneficial….to me, at least.
He gave me the ability to make choices and it seems like I made the wrong ones every chance I got….yet, He never took that from me, hoping that one day I would start making better ones. “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial.” Let me dummy it down into “worldly lingo;” …. Just because it comes in your size, doesn’t mean you should wear it OR that if you do wear it; it will look good on you. Being 5’9” and a size 16 for instance; you won’t see me wearing a bikini despite some designers thinking it will look good on every body type because it comes in black. Or… walking into the neighborhood pub with the best of intentions; only going to have a few beers when the first shot is offered. Within an hour, my good intentions were put on the top shelf with the expensive liquor…out of reach until next time. It was the same way with weight loss… if there was a goal in mind I would compete to reach that goal but then what?
This is what Lysa mentioned in her devotion today:
“Reaching my weight loss goal is a precarious place for me. That’s because I find it is a blessing strangled in a curse. The “curse” is the assumption that freedom now means I can return to all those things I have given up for the past months. The sacrifices… the missed treats… the deprived taste buds high on salad and low on French fries. I’m tempted to celebrate, live it up, and invite all those foods I’ve missed to a little welcome-home party.”
I feel I have already reached many goals since FINALLY tracking Jesus down and asking Him to fill the hole in my heart. I want to say “I’m better now” and can revisit some of the places I have come from. I am stronger. I know how better to handle myself and those things that led me astray before can’t touch me now because I have Jesus; and for the most part…that could be true. But…He has still not taken away my freewill and I know that there are some places I could go where it would be very easy to maintain my composure and there are others that would test me for sure. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1Corinthians 10:13
As Lysa mentioned before; “….tempted to celebrate.” I want to share my faith with those that I had to walk away from. It was necessary to “change my playground” physically and mentally to devote my entire “new life” to Him. But I feel so strong and because of that I think I would be okay and toy with the idea of letting some of those people back in my life…just to see what He is truly capable of because they knew me “when.” I share with them via facebook or email; the life I have now compared to then. But I remember that just because I am a Christian I am not immune or invincible. The world will still try to creep in and wreak havoc on the life Jesus has created for me and I am unwilling to risk that. Jesus was with Daniel in the Lion’s Den but he didn’t choose to be put there….he just knew that he was not alone and that is enough for me too.
I am excited to get to my goal weight and celebrate with friends and not food. Heck… we already have mini-celebrations each weigh in day and I know that would still be the case if the needle on the scale moved up and not down. We have much to be thankful and celebrate. More than learning to crave God and not food, in this study, I am learning to appreciate all I have in Him and not focus on what is missing. I no longer envy those with different lifestyles but enjoy the lifestyle he has created for me.
I am eating carrots but living cupcakes…. and mine is cream filled with sprinkles on top.
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