Cast of Characters

In my former life; the “PJ Era” (Pre-Jesus) I chose friends based on how they could benefit me. Did they make me look better? Did I have more “stuff” than they did? Where did they live? Did they have weekends free? Did I get to be in control of what we did? No one ever accused me of being a good friend and truthfully, I don’t know that I ever was one. I told myself that I didn’t need anyone but always did what I could do be the center of attention or the most popular.

I remember a friendship I had with a woman I worked with nearly ten years ago. She worked in the office across the hall from me and we decided to extend our lunch breaks together to something outside of the office during our personal time. We formed a friendship but it was short-lived and then seemingly more awkward at work; as if dating a co-worker and splitting up. I can’t remember the exact scenario but the sting of her last words to me still rest at the back of my mind. She told me “You are a very hard person to get along with and I doubt you will ever find a woman willing to work to be your friend” Ouch… I would like to say that the venom in those words changed me or made me want to be a better person and friend, but they did not. I continued to use people and justify all of my actions.

I couldn't remember the last time I had a friend. In high school I ran cross country and track and had a few people I hung out with from the teams, but no real friends. I graduated high school early and went to college; joined a couple of clubs hoping to make friends but because I was younger than most of the freshman, and no matter what I did people didn't want to hang out with the "kid." Even though I graduated high school early, I still went back in June to walk across stage with my classmates. Mom paid for the Grad Night package and I went to Disneyland with 300 of my closest "friends." There were different cliques but I didn't have one that I belonged to so I would walk and ride the rides with one group and feel awkward after a while and drift into another one...floating from one clique to another and "clicking" with none. They knew me; I knew them because I grew up in a small town and we had gone to school together forever but I don't have one memory of a friendship to rekindle via Facebook some 25years later. Sure... there are a number of people that remember me and have added me as a "Friend" but after the initial catching up, we learn we have nothing in common and the pleasantries continue by checking in once in a while.

I never had friends before and I never even had people I considered friends in bars if they didn't dress like me, act like me or want to be like me. The only thing we had in common was the excessive lifestyle; and you saw where that got me. Now...the one thing I have in common with the men and women we have met at church is Jesus. "A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." Proverbs 18:24. I had many companions and there was no "may" about it...my life did come to ruin. I don't blame God for what I went through but now embrace it knowing it was just Him authoring the story of my life. He saw in me what I did not see in myself...the gifts of Evangelism and Creative Communication. A Cheerleader for Jesus and doing it in creative ways. "Yes, Lord...pick me."

These friends I have now are my gifts from Him. I thought the biggest and best gift I could receive from Him was the one I already received; the gift of grace. Yet he continues to think I am worthy of more and with each woman that crosses my path and becomes a friend, a true friend, I cherish as I did the first gift I received from Him. With every ministry I join, every bible study or small group I attend, and every volunteer opportunity I take...He has given me these amazing women. I go to a church of 25,000 members yet sit next to the same woman every day for a month only to have her be a fabulous new friend on Facebook? Yep. That happened. I sit in a room of ten women for a bible study thinking I have nothing to offer as a new Christian and even after "outing" my story to them in the second week...they still want to call me friend? Yep. That happened. The staff of a church that size, as busy as they are, day to day... make a point of saying hello to my husband and I by name when they see us in the lobby. Does that happen? Could that happen? Yep. That happens every time we come in; not just Sundays.

We now call ourselves Lylas (Love ya like a sister….in Jesus). I can’t wait to fellowship with these women every month; either for lunch or dinner; coffee or tea; movies or shopping; or just getting together because you need a friend or prayer.

My Lylas. My friends. My cast of characters.

Michelle “Echo” (we met in the Sacred Echo and there was another Michelle so it stuck). =D. She sat quiet and unassuming on our first day of the new bible study. She was engaged in the conversation but didn’t share much but open to all of us. When the prayer list email went out she sent a separate email to me saying “Hello new friend, I would love to know more about what you write.” I thought it best to be honest and share an excerpt from my journal that would turn book. Honestly, I thought she was the Michelle that was leading the class and if she was the leader I could trust her with my secrets and what I really write. I sent the email and then she added me as a friend on Facebook. When I realized it was a different Michelle…it was then I began calling her Echo because I KNOW that God was telling me; “How can you truly show the good I am doing through you if you don’t share what I brought you from?” She liked what she read and said she was inspired by it but I never shared with her just how scared I was to open up to a total stranger. I had shared my story before but only where I knew how it would be received. When the next week came and I struggled with my decision to share what was coming up and what I was coming from, Echo merely looked at me, knowing my secret and telling me it was going to be okay without saying a word.

She will scold me for sharing but I feel it is worth the risk. While I have been apart from my husband these last several months, she has become so much more than an echo or a friend. She took it upon herself to cook meals for my husband and delivered them to him weekly; several courses, sides, appetizers and desserts. I was overwhelmed with her consideration and he was elated at eating something other than spicy buffalo wings and chicken pot pies he could make himself or pizza that was delivered two days a week. She has even agreed to teach me to cook when I get home which makes me laugh and think of Jesus with loaves of bread and fish.

“She is like the ships of the merchant; she brings food from afar.” Proverbs 31:14

The other Michelle in our group, our fearless group leader, radiates for Him. She is joyful and THE most compassionate person I’ve had the pleasure of meeting. She puts you at ease without judgment or scorn. Her insight into the material and the way that she digs deeper to share what she thinks God wants us to know is compelling and I was so grateful for her in my first few days of the study; answering each question I had as she would to a child, not knowing the answers but diligently seeking.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” Proverbs 31:26

Lynnette has small children and listens so attentively; both to what He is saying to her in prayer and what He has to say through others…in our study, in our church, in general. She was in “mommy mode” and my girls are grown and barely speaking to me on a good day. I thought there would be nothing we could have in common until He proved otherwise along the way. Since being apart we have become even closer and found more than Jesus in common which was more than enough for me. I look forward to being a part of craft shows with her; she with her handmade jewelry and me with my scripture coffee sleeves and bible covers.

“Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:28

I love books and it became apparent from the first days that Lisa was an avid reader also. She, too, had little kids and I would have immediately turned her away as a person to befriend because what could we possibly have in common? The more we talked we discovered liking the same authors and being drawn to the same types of books. She recommended a book called “Grown up Girlfriends” which I ordered and read immediately, seeing all of these women throughout and my heart overflowed with ALL that he continues to do. I saw the friendships and closeness that she had with other members of the study and was afraid to even dare trying to break the mold but she made it so easy to be myself with her. We became close so quickly and His timing was perfect even though I would be separated from them just six weeks after getting to know them.

“The heart of her husband trusts in her, and will have no lack of gain.” Proverbs 31:11

I love Linda’s laugh. Her smile is infectious and she has this captivating demeanor with everyone I have seen her with. She even sat next to me and included me when I tried to withdraw a bit, still unsure of my place in their group. I felt uneasy not knowing some of the verses and stories they referenced and she sensed it and took the time to “dummy it down” for me without making me feel like I was on the spot or have to ask what they meant. She dropped me off at home one day after the study and could tell me without hesitation what every plant in my garden was; which was news to me since I didn’t plant them and some weren’t even blooming yet. Her confidence is clear without being cocky. She is a strong woman that provides for her household and I love to see her in pictures with her family; their love apparent.

“Strength and dignity are her clothing, and she laughs at the time to come.” Proverbs 31:25

When I met Kerri I tried to discern her age, as if that mattered. She is smart and witty and “knows stuff;” a young mom with a daughter and pregnant with a son. A blessing for her and her husband despite them being so far from their families but blessed to be able to share so much and stay connected via the internet. I love her wit and her candor that she speaks with. I find myself wanting things to work out for her and even though I don’t know her well, she tops my prayer list and I hold out hope to get to know her better.

“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27

While I was in the Sacred Echo study, I could hear Him in everyone I came in contact with. I was to share openly what he had brought me from; with strength and assuredness even where I had none. I was to show what is possible with him even to someone that strayed so far.

Even in a sea of 25,000 members of our church; He handpicked one that would become so important to me. Toni is so insightful. She is funny and has the biggest heart. The daily devotions she shares with me, the handwritten letters and cards, and the copies of music lists and bible studies that she has sent to me since not being able to participate in person. Our conversations are random; or at least would be to anyone listening in from the outside. Yet we can skip around from TV shows, to messages from God, to our kids, to food, to church, to music and it is completely seamless. She is further proof to me that there are no accidents and God smiles each time we figure it out.

“She dresses herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” Proverbs 31:17

Karen. Where do I begin?  We met in the most random of ways; her coming to a bible study suggested by a friend in the middle of the week to a church she doesn’t attend and yet…. He thought it would be a perfect way for us to meet. We were friends instantly. She lights up the room with her smile and glows through a room. But it was her tears that drew me to her. She wept with such heartfelt emotion that I couldn’t stop crying myself. We walked arm and arm to the parking lot and stood in the drizzle and cold for thirty minutes. We had nothing in common, not even our church as was the case with all of the other Lylas. Jesus doesn’t care what church we go to, to him it is just a building. We are the body and when he connects Christian women regardless of location I am certain there is a party in heaven. 

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is rain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30

It is hard to believe that He can be more surprising than connecting two women from different churches but He can be.

Because I am not home (not for another 28 days)…. I was unable to participate in the small groups and bible studies; both of which will be taking a break for the holidays and not resuming until the New Year. But…he continues to find a way to introduce me to new women despite the distance.

Heather and Kimi are two women I know only virtually. They “just so happened” to be involved and leading the group this term and my name came up a few times; sparking conversation and touching them enough to extend a virtual hand via Facebook and email. I understand they are both writers and Heather even attended the She Speaks conference I wanted to attend this past July and couldn’t but planned to next year. We are already planning a road trip for next year and I am excited to meet them both the week after my return; having lunch with other women ... all in His name.

“She perceives that her merchandise is profitable, her lamp does not go out at night.” Proverbs 31:18

Following each description of my favorite leading Lylas in my cast of characters were different qualities found in describing the Proverbs 31 Woman. This poem begins and ends with mention of the woman’s excellence and I could not pick more excellent women to be friends with. This woman embodies all areas of life, the full characters of wisdom commended throughout the book. 

As with all character types, this profile is an ideal; a particular example of full-scale virtue and wisdom toward which the faithful are willing to be molded. It is NOT expected that any ONE woman will look exactly like this in every way." ESV Study Bible

While each of us could aspire to meet ALL of the qualities of this Woman it is not likely …. It is my belief that by associating myself with these women, and others that He continues to put in my path, we can all embody several of these qualities and befriend those with others we are still seeking. I am not a cook but Echo lives for it. I cannot sing without crying but Karen loves her praise worship. I love to wear jewelry but make it? I will leave that to Lynnette. I am new at this whole writing and speaking thing (for Jesus) but Kimi and Heather are amazing women to tag along with because they are real writers and He wouldn’t have introduced us without reason.

The above are just examples of what I think the Lylas are all about; what Jesus wants for all of us. He brings people to us that bring what we need without even realizing we need it; like new shoelaces for sneakers right before the lace breaks. I am thrilled not to be a Proverbs 31 Woman but to be one part of a collection of women that he has allowed me to call friends and hope we can be the ideal woman for God that he knew we would be….together.